Attraction Versus Chemistry

Are they one and the same? Does attraction guarantee chemistry? Does chemistry guarantee attraction?

Has this ever happened to you? I can look at a guy and be instantly attracted to him. Then we hang out and there are no sparks.

We don’t click.

No chemistry.

No electricity.

On the other hand, I can meet a guy and not be instantly attracted to him (almost indifferent) and then hang out for more than a couple days and find there’s fireworks.

Isn’t it crazy…

how you can be in a crowded subway and not notice how everyone is pushed up against you…

but when the guy you like even so much as reaches over for popcorn and accidently brushes his arm against yours… that’s ALL you can think about?

That’s what chemistry does to a girl.

So what if it wasn’t love at first sight! Who cares about instant attraction?! It doesn’t guarantee chemistry.
80% of married couples interviewed in a survey (over 1000 people) reported they did not feel an immediate attraction to each other when they first met.

Any thoughts?

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I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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  1. Lydia

    Mmmmm, and then there are those times when chemistry and attraction are both present, instantly present, and for both of you at the same time. Now THAT’S good stuff! A little intoxicating, and rarely found, but oh so good 😀 (And chemistry trumps attraction any day)

  2. vegetarianqt

    oh, I LOVE those times!!!! THAT can’t be beat:)

  3. Nathan

    Ah, the popcorn-reaching-hand-graze. Electric. *sigh*

    “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances . If there is any reaction then both are changed…”

  4. MidoriLei

    That’s a cool quote Nathan!

  5. The Single One

    In my past, the ones I was instantly attracted to turned out to be the ones I should have stayed away from! The bad boys… I think that’s changing now; I hope so!

    I have a man friend who I wasn’t attracted to at all when we first met. I even would have said he was un-attractive. Then as we got to know each other I realized all the attractive qualities about him and he became more attractive. Now (we are still good friends and he is happily married to a wonderful woman) he is sort of my measuring stick for finding a good man.

  6. MidoriLei

    would you have wanted to date him if he wasn’t married?

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  8. Issac Maez

    Heyy, Found your blog on Yahoo and I will definatley be recommending and coming back to the site! =)

  9. Aleshia Colston

    Thankyou for this excellent piece. I look forward more of your writing on this topic sometime soon. Cheers again


    I agree. There may not be immediate attraction during the first meeting.. but for the initial attraction to take place.. something must happen. Could be an action, an impression, an experience, etc.. =)

  11. the law of attraction book

    Thanks , I’ve recently been searching for info about this topic for ages and yours is the greatest I’ve found out till now. However, what concerning the conclusion? Are you positive about the supply?

  12. Mia

    “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances . If there is any reaction then both are changed…” hahaha that’s an awesome quote 😛

  13. MidoriLei

    Mia, that is an awesome quote!

  14. deb

    so is it best to go on at least 3 dates if the guy is decent (no immediate red flags) but there is no chemistry?

    • MidoriLei


      I think so:) As long as you are not repelled by the thought of him touching you. Or you think he’s creepy.

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