For Single Girls

All Hail the Alpha Male

Who is this alpha male we speak of? Think more Jon Hamm from Mad Men and less Paul Rudd in I Love You, Man. This guy’s in demand. He’s self assured. He has male friends. He knows how to pick up a tool in the garage. He actually enjoys working. Move over metrosexuals and slackers. This is the man we want.

I saw this poll on Cosmo Magazine and thought it was worthy of sharing! It reminds me about this post I wrote: What a Man Can Apply to Relationships Based on His Relationship with His Dog
Now for the poll results!

What women appreciate most about the alpha male:

    He knows what he wants and goes after it.

The look that screams alpha male, according to Cosmo’s online survey?

    A perfectly tailored suit.

The trait or traits a woman says guys need most to achieve alpha male status?

    Confidence and charisma.

More appealing traits of an alpha male?

  • He would never back down from a fight.
  • He charms you…and your entire table of friends.
  • He makes you feel like the only woman on earth.
  • He is resourceful and isn’t afraid of getting his hands dirty, which helps him come out on top no matter how bad things get.
  • He isn’t a wuss who runs from trouble. He has your back.
  • He’s the one who’ll help you out of a tough spot.

The thing women love most of all????

    “Being with an ubermasculine type makes women feel more feminine and sexy by contrast.”

Listen up guys! 74% of women polled want to date this alpha male!

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Article written by:

I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

Join the discussion

  1. getagirl

    This is such delightful website and I enjoyed reading all of your articles. Thanks for sharing your thoughts to all of your readers. Cheers!

  2. Chris

    Great advice. I think men should listen to women in the area of dating advice. I am going to post a link to this blog on my forum.


  3. Ali

    I agree with your post about the Alpha Male. But I have a few questions for you.

    1. What can a woman bring to the table for such a man who already has all the assurance, self-confidence, drive, and a path? A man who really doesn’t need a woman, who is fulfilled onto himself.

    2. Why would he feel the need to make any woman feel she’s the only one when he can have almost any woman?

  4. MidoriLei


    1. A woman can bring everything that a man is not: tenderness, femininity, the kind of nurturing affection that only comes from a woman. A woman brings a different, complimentary kind of strength to an alpha male. She blooms in his presence. In her presence, she makes him feel that much more masculine in comparison to her. He is inspired by her and delighted by her. Don’t get me wrong. Men DO need women. “It is not good for man to be alone.” He can have self assurance, confidence, drive, and a path, but at the end of the day… you don’t have a fulfilled man. You have Desperado:

    Ohhhh you aint getting no younger.
    Your pain and your hunger,
    They’re driving you home.
    And freedom, ohh freedom.
    Well that’s just some people talking.
    Your prison is walking through this world all alone.

    Don’t your feet get cold in the winter time?
    The sky won’t snow and the sun will shine.
    It’s hard to tell the night time from the day.
    And you’re losing all your highs and lows
    aint it funny how the feeling goes

    Why don’t you come to your senses?
    come down from your fences, open the gate.
    It may be rainin’, but there’s a rainbow above you.
    You better let somebody love you.
    (let sombody love you)
    You better let somebody love you…ohhh..hooo
    before it’s too..oooo.. late.

    Happy wife. Happy life.

    2. Because having any/all women is not better than having one woman when that woman is amazing.

    Or as John Mayer says in his song “Gravity”

    Oh twice as much ain’t twice as good
    And can’t sustain like a one half could
    It’s wanting more
    That’s gonna send me to my knees

  5. Dee

    From a guy’s point of view:

    1. Sex 🙂 Don’t underestimate the sexual drive of a man lol.

    2. Because he believes that being with and knowing one great woman deeply over time is better than sleeping around and juggling multiple girlfriends. Also, he values a strong healthy traditional family legacy.

  6. Pingback: How to Become More Confident Around Women

  7. MidoriLei

    Dee, love it! Sex with a woman is much better than “solo sex” so i’ve heard:)

  8. hunter

    Alpha males build up their confidence from their conquests…..

  9. Devon Brown

    Alpha males, by today’s definition, are nothing more than the male stereotypes of the 1950s. Everything is cyclical. The next generation will tire of the alpha males their fathers are and look towards romantic, sensitive types again. And the men will adjust as best they can, continually confused by what women want.

    – Devon

  10. MidoriLei

    Devon Brown,
    The alpha male can be romantic and sensitive…. he is an alpha male to everyone else in public, but he can be romantic and sensitive in private. That’s why it feels so special because you know not everyone knows that side of him.

  11. Todd Smitts

    Gotta say I find your examples a bit troubling. I haven’t seen much of “Mad Men”, but I know Don Draper is a lair and a serial cheater. Paul Rudd’s Peter Bretter, on the other hand, may be a bit dorky but he and fiancee Zooey clearly love each other. He’s attentive and charming, but he’d never in a million years be unfaithful to her. He has a good job. He has his own interests (fencing, rock & roll). He doesn’t have many male friends, admittedly, but by the movie’s end, that’s taken care of.

    As for the list you jotted down, most of those would apply to Peter, yet he’s not a cheater like Don Draper. You can fantasize about a guy like that, if that floats your boat, but I think an adult (man or woman) with self-respect appreciates honesty, respect, and faithfulness in a relationship, three things Don has proven to be totally lacking. Whether or not those traits are considered “alpha”, I’ll leave up to you, but I suspect you won’t be very happy in a relationship without them.

  12. Ali

    Freud said the only thing he doesn’t have the answer for is “what women want”? What they say they want and what they respond to are two very different things. They prefer the guys whom other women find desireable and who flirt with other women just enough to keep her on her toes, but they say they prefer guys who bring them flowers and remember all the important dates. That’s why don’t ever listen to what she says, get your own shit together and let her know what you’re all about from the get go, if she acts like a brat, toss her and find someone who actually appreciates the man you are, it’ll save you a lot of trouble, drama and pain in the long run.

    And don’t forget a pre-nup! Its the most important investment a man can make in his life, or he’ll end up like thousands of suckers who get taken by bratty, self-entitled women who’d rather take your money than actually work and contribute to the society like the rest of us. You see Hulk Hogan doin shitty commercials just to pay his ex-wife’s bills now. Wise up, see women for what they are, human, flawed, imperfect, capable of everything most of us are, greed, infidelity, selfishness, destruction, along with compassion, love, nurturence and all the other good stuff. Just remember never to let your guard down, no matter how beautiful any woman may be. Don’t tolerate shit, be ready to walk away when the drama starts, you deserve better than that. Let her solve her own issues, don’t play her therapist. Like eminem says, “superman ain’t savin’ shit!” She’s gotta learn to mature on her own. Even women have a dark side, just be aware.

    Universally sex is men’s achillie’s heal. Until men overcome it, they’ll forever be at the mercy of women. Like the wise man said, “the fulfillment that seems like a woman is unavailable in her form.”

  13. hunter

    Ali, that is why I say, chase women in the plain, average category…… will see a big difference…

  14. Anonymous

    Nice article,hope to read more about you in the future (

  15. G. Von Richter

    I think many come to this site to find out what makes a “Alpha Male”. I am not sure you can learn to be an alpha male–for me it was always part of my personal makeup since I was about 11 years old. I guess it is knowing what you want–and finding a way to achieve it. Sex does seem to come into play at much younger age than most. Perhaps that is the basis of sexual confidence alpha males have. Under the right circumstances a alpha male knows how to give teenage girls oral sex and the girls secretly share knowledge of the young males skills. He becomes close to the girls and they have a secret fondness for someone of such an age. Girls come to him on the sly. The sly part is the most important part of any Alpha Male Makeup. His devotion to secrets is what gets him sex from all sources. It is easy for a young teen to become a alpha male with so many requesting his quiet presence. He is looked up to and his sexual partners [sometimes including other males] seek him out. A well adjusted Alpha Male does not need to over power other males. Other males consider him a friend to be seen with. It helps I suppose to be super good looking—but the availability of secretive sex seems to be the biggest draw. If a lady spots a confident male it is easier than many women think to invite him over to deliver something and try him out. Good luck–

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