I’m not trying to go back to “The Rules.”(All the Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right)

Never even read the book, but I know that many people think its principles are archaic. This article is about SEX.

It’s about the feeling you get when you have sex too early on and something deep inside you knows that because of this, you blew it.

Is that feeling, just a feeling?

Or does having sex too early on give men little reason to continue pursuing you?

I’d like to argue that it does.

Of course, Hollywood would like to argue the opposite.

Take these two movies with the same premise: If you give him sex first he will want you more!!!

No Strings Attached (Two-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo + Digital Copy)

On the contrary, they do make the case that sex isn’t just a physical act. Emotions always come into play. But in both the movies, neither of the women wanted to be in a committed relationship. The appeal wasn’t that they gave sex first. The appeal was that they had the whole “independent” thing going for them. The “I don’t need a man to be happy but I like sex,” appeal.

Ladies, if you want only sex and nothing else, that’s one thing. But most women crave the emotional, romance thing too.

Ladies, if your goal is to have a one night stand and you never want to see this guy again, and you never want him to build respect for you (a prerequisite of love), then don’t withhold sex.

But ladies, if your goal is to gain a man’s respect, admiration, adoration, love… if your goal is to be in a committed relationship or even marriage, holding off on sex will help you get there.

There’s something about having sex too early that kills relationship longevity or even stops relationships from being created.

I heard this quote from a fitness magazine and think it applies even to sex!

“Don’t trade what you want most for what you want at this moment”

or… don’t trade what you want most (real love, commitment, a man who loves and respects you) for what you want at this moment (to feel pleasure, to feel desirable and sexy).

Men are hard-wired to believe that the best things in life are worth the wait.

You give it to him too soon? He subconsciously starts thinking If there is no waiting time, it must mean this isn’t the best. I’ll hold out for something (someone) else better.

Take it from this girl’s simple but profound poem:

I met him. I liked him.
I liked him. I loved him.
I loved him. I let him.
I let him. I lost him.