So, I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this, but I have the best coworkers and boss ever.

I have the kind of job where you don’t have to work every single moment on shift. (thank God!)

Whenever there’s no one to tutor, my coworkers and I tend to gather around and talk about everything from politics, food (we all LOVE food), philosophy, world views and ideologies… but mostly, we talk about relationships. (probably because of me!)

Rene is the sweetest guy.

He happens to be 9 years my junior but we always laugh about the fact that I tend to act his age (18) and he tends to act mine. (27)

When we first started working together, we would share our frustrations about the lack of good quality, attractive men and women our ages, and now, months later, we’re both involved with people who are amazing.

So, last week, driving home from work, we started talking about how things have changed, definitely for the better as far as our dating lives were concerned.

He said he feels so lucky and blessed to have found his girlfriend, Kelsey, a girl he had a middle school crush on years back.

I told him my frustrations with dating because of the kind of mind-playing games my parents, grandmother and brothers promote.

I shared with him some of my fears.

And this kid had so much wisdom to share.

Out of the mouth of babes.

Wow.

So, I wanted to share what he told me.

Regarding playing games with men he says:

You don’t have to play games. Just don’t make him your world. Make him a part of your world, not your entire world. I know that there’s a temptation to make a person your world when you first start talking but don’t do that. Just make him a part of your world.

Regarding all my fears he says:

You’re too afraid. You have something great going and because you’re so afraid of the future of either outcomes– losing him or being with him— you’re not really able to enjoy the moment. Live in the moment. You will feel blessed. You will feel lucky. You will feel grateful.

And it made me think.

Yes, I am lucky.

I’m lucky this guy made the effort to initiate contact with me after 12 years and after I treated him like a bitch.

I’m lucky he is such a great guy, and he wants to see where things go with me.

I realized that I need to enjoy every moment with him, regardless of whether or not it lasts.

Focusing on fears about the future keeps you from appreciating what you have in the present.

Right after my conversation with Rene, I kicked him out of my car and immediately called Seattle boy… and thanked him for initiating contact with me.

I felt the need to tell him, “Look, I’m always afraid of things, but I’m going to make an effort to not be afraid but be grateful.”

Rene taught me an invaluable lesson that night:

It’s really hard to be afraid and grateful at the same time.