Why do I obsess about dating, relationships and love? Because life is about them. Material possessions? Money? Those things aren’t the bottom line. The bottom line is relationships. Goals and accomplishments are secondary.
I’m convinced the most satisfied and content people are those who make their relationships (with their family, significant other, friends, people in their inner circle, even a stranger they meet on the street) their priority. They see work as not the end, but the means to the end. The end is providing for the ones they love, not being a burden on the ones they love. They see their goals and dreams as passions to pursue so they don’t put all the pressure of happiness on the ones they love. They spend their free time with the ones they love. They love people and use things. They don’t love things and use people. Everything comes back to relationships with people.
Why love? Because it is the fact of life. Because it is the only thing worth living for.
I guess from the general standpoint, my advice is considered “traditional.” Don’t take this on as something negative, considering the effects of “modern” dating have resulted in the highest divorce rate in history, and the weakening of the family unit.
What I mean by traditional:
- I believe guys should make the first move.
- I promote abstinence before marriage.
- I believe sex isn’t just a physical act. It means two souls becoming one.
- I think men and women are equal but our roles in dating are different.
- I think most of our problems in dating stem from a misunderstanding of gender roles. (and selfishness)
- I think men are most satisfied in dating when they actively pursue and successfully win the affections of a woman who is both inwardly and outwardly beautiful.
- I think women are most satisfied in dating when they are desired and actively pursued by confident and humble men.
- I think a man’s masculinity is the most attractive thing to a woman.
- I think a woman’s femininity is the most attractive think to a man.
- I think a man should ask permission from a woman’s father before he asks her for her hand in marriage.
- I think single men and women shouldn’t be ashamed to say they want to be in a relationship.
- I think it’s fine to casually date several people at the same time as long as you make that clear to the people you are seeing.
- I don’t believe in “courtship.”
- I don’t think people should date looking for a spouse. There’s just too much pressure in that. No expectations= no disappointments. Date to get to know people of the opposite sex to see what’s out there.
- I think women shouldn’t have to choose between a career and family. I think she can have them both.
I don’t know it all, but I share what discoveries I find from:
- my personal experience
- the experiences of my friends and family
- things I learn from tv, magazines, and movies (yes, these can actually be learning tools if you go in with a inquisitive eye and not just to be entertained)
- books I read
I’m like a sponge when it comes to wanting to learn about relationships and love. Because to me, life isn’t about things, goals or accomplishments, it’s about relationships with others.
I just soak it all in.
I write for you, my readers, because I think sharing unites us as human beings in the struggle to learn how to be unselfish and loving.
I write for myself, so I have a place to collect all of the things I’ve learned or come across.
I welcome controversial topics; I welcome your input. My hope is that we can help each other by learning from each other’s mistakes and victories.
Remember, you can also email me any questions for personalized dating advice!
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