Dating Advice

A Visit to the Cemetary

photo by dublindays via stockxchnge

photo by dublindays via stockxchnge

Yesterday I was walking at a park and made a detour into a cemetary. I know, not exactly something you’d do every day. But as I meandered through, the experience shook me up. I thought about the length of life, how death waits around the corner and we never know when our time is up. It reminded me of what Nina says in the movie Bella, “I’ve done research and ten out of ten people die.”

As I looked past the hundreds upon thousands of tombstones, it was also a humbling experience. I thought to myself, I too will be a part of something like this one day.

I thanked God for life,
youth,
health…
that I was still in the land of the living.

I thanked him that I have yet to bury a loved on.
I asked him for strength for the inevitable time when I will.

I asked Him to help me make my short time on earth count… to those I love the most, to those in my circle of influence. I want my short life to make an impact that lasts beyond my time.

It is true for all of us: We will all die. And if we die later rather than sooner, we will all bury ones we love.

It may sound morbid, but keeping this in mind as we go about loving the people around us helps us really love them better. It puts things into perspective because we know we only have a limited amount of time to love them because one day they will be gone or one day we will be gone.

The majority of the tombstones read, “beloved mother, father, son, daughter, wife, husband.” These are the roles that are crucial, the roles that people remember us by when our time is up. All the business roles and professional roles that we put all our energy towards sometimes to the neglect of our personal roles mean nothing for those we leave behind.

I passed by tombstones of lovers who were buried together. One read, “Together forever, in this life and the next,” and it nearly brought me to tears. There’s something so sad about love. It always ends because life always ends, and yet we end love prematurely. We take back our vows to love ’til death do us part.’ We take away love when our partners change. It saddens me.

I passed by the tombstones with fresh flowers. They were usually people who had died recently. And then I passed by tombstones where the writing was barely legible. And I thought, these people have been gone a long time… they once had visitors who brought them flowers, but maybe those that brought them flowers are gone too. Oh, what a somber thought: We will all pass through this life and eventually become a nobody… just another faded tombstone amongst thousands….

so… It made me think, why not make the most of our time while we are still a somebody (a wife, husband, mother, father, son, daughter, friend) to someone?

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I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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  1. Pingback: A Visit to the Cemetary | Why Are You Single? Hate being single? Get help and advice here

  2. Dave

    You’re right, most people tend to ignore their mortality, which is too bad because if it were more real we’d probably have a better set of priorities.

    I was watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button the other night, and that movie does a great job of reminding us to enjoy life while it lasts and make the most of it. I think Kate Blanchett was miscast, but a good film nonetheless.

  3. MidoriLei

    I saw that movie Dave! Loved it. It did make me think of mortality too. Who do you think should have played the lead female?

  4. Dave

    I don’t have a specific actress in mind, I just think that Cate Blanchett, while a good actress, is a little cold for a movie like that. I understand that they put them back together because people thought they were a good fit in Babel, but I never really felt the whole love connection between the two. No chemistry. I think a younger Ashley Judd would have been good for the part. Who would you have picked?

    Loved old Benjamin at the beginning btw, and Capt Mike.

  5. MidoriLei

    Hmmmm….I really don’t know who I’d cast. I do love Ashley Judd though and she has that warmth about her. My friend though Gwyneth Paltrow??? hmmm…I’m really not sure.

  6. Dave

    Dunno about Gwyneth, she comes across as really northeastern to me. Maybe Bridgette Moynahan or Jennifer Connelly? Charlize Theron?

  7. MidoriLei

    OMG yes! I could see all of those female leads! Especially Jennifer Connelly and Charlize Theron. It’s harder for me to see Bridgette Moynahan as a ballet dancer for some reason.

  8. Laurinda Gullixson

    Just wanted to give you a shout from the valley of the sun, thanks for the information. Much appreciated.

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