A Letter for Every Single Christian Woman Who Just Wants to Find Mr. Right
So thankful that Anonymous Guy over at Associated Content took the time and effort to painstakingly respond to my article: A Letter for Every Good, Decent Christian Single Guy Who Just Wants to Find Miss Right
He’s letting me publish his letter on here! So for all the single Christian women out there, read this! (It’ll make a lot more sense if you read the other letter first, since it’s a response)
Dear Miss Right,
I could ask you the same question. None of us were created to be alone, we thrive off of love and relationship, so I think it’d be mutually beneficial for us to find each other quickly. The truth is, and this is where most guys won’t admit it, I need you as much as you need me. I’ve tried to be one of those super macho guys, but in all honesty, in my heart, nothing could be more satisfying than to be your sensitive and loving provider, your husband. My plans and ideas are everywhere. I ask God daily for direction and confirmation. God’s the only one with the big picture, because I’m as lost as you are. I know that there are wonderful things out there for us to discover together, God will reveal them to each of us in time. There IS a reason we’re still not together. Logically it’s because we haven’t met… or if we have, we haven’t gotten to know each other. You’re not the only one without a line of ducks, I think some of mine might actually be geese, in which case, I have to be rid of them and find the ducks to fill their spots.
I agree with you wholeheartedly about the right woman and the wrong time being the wrong woman. The same can be said for guys. And truthfully, God’s been dealing with me on issues that would only bring our relationship down. I struggle with the idea of being forgiven without cause, and I need to learn to be more accepting of grace. Until I am, please don’t give up on me. Truthfully, the reason we’re not together is that I’ve asked God to hold off on our introduction until I’m ready to be the man you deserve. I have some of the same fears. Trust me, nothing’s scarier for a guy than to think that he’ll be the emotional head over heels in love one, while you look on in disdain. I want to get lightheaded when you walk into a room, and I want you to melt at my smile. Don’t be afraid, you can never ask too much of God. Nothing is beyond His capacity. The very reason you feel like I should be these things for you, is because God has created a desire in you specifically for me and only me, who will be these things, and you won’t be happy with any other guy.
And believe me, I’m far from perfect. My heart aches at the very thought of you getting me. I’m the undeserving one. It’s not fair that someone with a past like mine gets coupled with the woman of his dreams. But the beauty of grace, is that it makes life not fair. I AM looking for you, and I’m waiting for God to deem the time right for us to meet. The fact that I know you’re out there doing the same, only strengthens me further. I hate to disappoint you, but I’m very much into movies and TV… Luckily, to have an interest in something does not necessarily mean to believe it. Love is not a feeling or emotion that coincides with “Happily Ever After”, it’s a choice. And I’ve decided to love you unconditionally into eternity.
Admittedly, a good appearance is nice, but appearances can be deceiving. Don’t worry about it; be yourself. My eyes were made with you in mind, so I’d say you have an advantage over other women. And besides, if you make yourself look too good, you’ll run the risk of attracting more than just me… I don’t want to have to fend the hounds off my woman! Your imperfections are what make you you, and I can put you just as easily on my screensaver or wall, as any of those other women. And the best part is, then I’ll have the real thing right by my side to keep me warm. Good luck with the cover snatching, you’ll need it. (lol) While there are a lot of pretty women out there, there’s only one for me. I would never settle for someone I could live with, and you shouldn’t either. Where’s the fun in that? I’m the one you could never imagine life without.
I’m the guy you might notice at first, but only in that, vague sort of way, but if you got to know me, you’d find a soul that yearns after God, and that’s what will help you understand the plan God has laid out for the both of us. If I only saw beauty from the world’s perspective, I’d be a rather lonely individual, wouldn’t I? There is none more beautiful than a beautiful soul. I can’t wait to be captivated by yours. I’d take on all the pain the world could throw at you, and you’d be the heaven that helped me bare it. I’ll be the first to admit, I struggle with taking a passive role. It’s hard to be a leader with no one to lead. Your point is valid, however, I find it ironic that you were the one to initiate this conversation, to which I am responding. I have difficulty knowing who to pursue, I guess my biggest fear is accidentally getting in too deep with someone that’s not you. I have been hurt and rejected, and mostly because I’ve pursued… In fact, most of the stupid things I’ve done have come from “the hunt.” Maybe I should learn to do less shooting and more tracking. I can’t just fire into the crowds and hope for a hit. God has directed me on how to set my sights to find you. And you’ll be my trophy wife. (lol, couldn’t help myself with that one.) I’ll have you know, if you think I’d get married for the sake of getting married, maybe it’s you that’s looking in the wrong places. Marriage is a commitment for life, and that’s a commitment I’d be miserable to make to anyone but you. That and I want my rib back. I’ll tell you what, my rib for the covers, sound like a deal? There is no one I’d rather build my life with.
We’ll have our pitfalls, but we’ll also have our mountain tops, and there’s no one I’d rather share my adventure with because I know that there’s no way I can grow to be the man God wants me to be without you by my side.
I’m getting kinda tired myself. It’s 58 days after New Year’s Eve, and I kissed no one… I was actually oblivious to the clock altogether as I was watching Monty Python’s Flying Circus (but that’s another story). Believe me, I’d rather have been in your arms. I wasn’t truly alone, but I was as good as. I’m one of the ones that feels lonely in a crowd, because I just don’t fit in. I’m not of this world, and that’s how you’ll be able to pick me out. I can’t wait till I can hold you as we usher in our first New Year together. It’ll be my happiest moment… until the next time you smile.
Good night to you, my love! God’s time is His own, but I pray daily that He take into consideration our time not spent together is time lost. I’ll search for you until I die, but I trust God to make sure it doesn’t take that long. Don’t settle for Mister Sorta Charming, because trust me, when you meet me, he’s going to look like the frog. I know not what form you’ll take, but I know you’ll be the woman God’s formed for and from me. I know you will have honesty, faith, tenderness, and a pure heart: each a beauty in and of its own. Even one of these is worth waiting an eternity for. I’ve loved you as long as you have me, and for the same reason. Don’t give up waiting for me, I’m searching for you. When we do finally meet, you can be sure God will have orchestrated it to bring out the both in best of us and to glorify Him in the greatest means possible. God’s been moving in both of our lives, and He’s been moving us together. It’s only a matter of time before that finally happens.
Forever Yours,
Mister Right
p.s. That guy you were talking about that week, the one that was even at the bar in the first place? Yeah, probably not me. : )
*I highlighted my favorite parts! Thanks Mr Anonymous Guy!
March 4th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
No problem, you’re welcome.
March 4th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
i love you guys, nice blog, good to read it…keep up the good work…
March 13th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
I’m trying to post this article seperately on my Associated Content profile, maybe then it’ll get out to more people. It got rejected the first time… something about a numbered list… I detect no numbered list here…
March 16th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
This was an amazing entry, this encouraged me. every thing written here totally represents the this a prayed about and the things you want to know about what that man is truly thinking!
Thank you so much for writing this letter.
March 18th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Haha. You’re so much welcome. Thanks for taking the time to read it. It’s nice to see it’s actually encouraging people. It’s something I just felt led to write.
August 19th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
WOW!!! Thank you SO much for your post. It is amazing and SHOCKING to me that there are men out there that care and take this so deeply serious. I have written DOZENS of letters to my future husband and you have DEFINATELY encouraged me to not give up and to stick to my standards and have patience. KEEP IT UP and GOD bless you immensly!!!
August 20th, 2009 at 8:09 am
That’s awesome that you do that CoffeeGirl! Yeah, don’t settle. God will show you who is right for you. Wait for the very literal “match made in heaven!”
August 27th, 2009 at 1:20 am
For a moment, I thought you were the guy I was hoping to see again, after we both ate all that ice cream together.
February 3rd, 2010 at 11:37 am
i cried…
February 4th, 2010 at 12:12 am
Teresa, I hope it was tears of hope…
March 29th, 2010 at 9:36 pm
That was AMAZING!!!! I just stumbled upon your blog tonight and could not stop reading! THANK YOU both for speaking straight from your hearts.I felt like I could have written the girl letter myself… it sounded so much like me. Settling has never been an option for me, but as you get older it seems to want to slip in… As a result of reading and crying over this post, I once again know 100% that MY Mister Right is worth the wait for sure and then some. Thanks for that gentle reminder Mr. Anonymous-you are appreciated!
THANK YOU & GOD BLESS <
May 15th, 2010 at 10:50 pm
God new I needed to hear this Thank the Lord for the Body of Christ ..Also the Holy Spirit as our guide to connect us that you may be glorified in all things….What encouragement to the ladies and gentlemen in waiting to persevere for God’s best ….Oh I thank the Lord for fulfilling my need this night as I came across this amazing letter from the Lord using you as a vessel Thank You for being an obedient messenger of the Lord…
May 23rd, 2010 at 5:33 am
I just realized it’s so lonely being SINGLE….but reading this makes me feel okay… hope to meet my MR. RIGHT
July 10th, 2010 at 6:14 pm
Hey there! This was a kind letter. However, and I hate to be the unromantic one, it is actually deeply troubling.
I do not want a man who values me above God, and I do not want a man who seeks to take Christ’s place in my life. I don’t think that’s what the purpose of this letter was, but there were several lines, such as “I’d take on all the pain the world could throw at you, and you’d be the heaven that helped me bare it.” which were concerning.
Christ alone can take (and has taken) the “pain the world [can] throw at [me].” Nobody can take that kind of suffering besides the God-Man Himself. For anyone to suppose they can, it is incredibly dangerous, because the amount of suffering the enemy can cause us is great indeed; futhermore, it is even MORE dangerous for a woman to believe a man, any human, could take that kind of suffering because inevitably, we will all let each other down.
How about this. I pray that the man of my dreams is NOT thinking about me right now, but rather has his eyes fixed upon Christ and His Kingdom. Do not focus on me; focus on the work the Lord has called you to do to His glory. Likewise, I will try, with God’s help, to refocus my own thoughts and heart upon Him and Him alone, and to seek to live my life for His glory and to advance His Kingdom.
When he and I are brought together, we will recognize one another because we will both have the same passion and calling that God has given to us; we will be equals and co-workers in advancing the Kingdom. We will be attracted to one another, physically and spiritually; that is not something to even worry about.
God knows what we need; trust Him.
July 13th, 2010 at 7:58 pm
Kristen, you make some intriguing points but I have to beg to differ.
By him saying, “I’d take on all the pain the world could throw at you, and you’d be the heaven that helped me bare it,” I don’t think he’s trying to take the place of Christ in his wife’s life, but as a husband he is called to lay his life down for his wife, as Christ laid down his life for the church, and this is just one way of doing that.
Eph 5 says:
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—
so his desire to “take on the pain of the world” for his woman is a good and noble thing, as it is a way that he would “give himself up for her,” by putting her needs and comfort above his own.
Suffering shared by two parties is definitely to lessen the load as it is written:
As Eccleciastes 4 says:
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
We are here to help each other in our suffering and weaknesses.
I hope that men are thinking of their future wives, even as they fix their eyes on Jesus. They can do both simultaneously. In fact, it would be nearly impossible for a man to not think of his future wife if in fact he is responsible for finding her:
Proverbs 18:22
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.
Indeed this is his job to find a wife and that begins with thinking about what he’s looking for, and thus thinking about her. Men cannot expect God to just place a woman in their laps, they are given the task of “finding that wife.” Or as one of my favorite pastors once joked, “You don’t stumble upon a field and find a jewel, you have to go searching for it!”
A virtuous wife is exactly that: compared to a ruby:
Proverbs 31:10
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Indeed men should not feel guilt at searching for a wife. It is his job and a noble job that at it’s completion, God even says to the man that he now finds “favor with the Lord.”
But you do make a great point, that we will let each other down. Nonetheless, it is honorable for a man to think of his future wife, search for her, want to protect her and actively pursue her.
October 4th, 2010 at 8:50 pm
True love waits and with this letter I’m not that sad anymore. Kudos to anonymous guy for having such gift of writing letters. I cried but then the feeling is more of relief than despair. That GOD is working in my life and I know He’ll give me that man in His own perfect time. I’ll just keep on praying. MORE OF GOD’s POWER and BLESSINGS to all of us!
October 9th, 2010 at 1:38 am
This is indeed the description of my Mr Right. A God Fearing, God Loving, Gentleman who would love me as Christ loved the church. It would be indeed wrong to marry for the sake of getting married and respecting the social code of marriage before 30. One could end up getting married for all the wrong reasons on Earth and suffer the consequencies. The part I love the most was: “I would never settle for someone I could live with, and you shouldn’t either. Where’s the fun in that? I’m the one you could never imagine life without.”
Ladies, let’s make it a point to marry someone we cannot live without. Many have married and regretted and are very envious of our single status. We should see our single period as a time to do something for the Lord. He knows the end from the begining and hey, we are in HIS PLANS. God bless Mr anonymous!
October 9th, 2010 at 12:28 pm
Leticia, right on! thanks for sharing!
January 6th, 2011 at 1:45 am
I have been reflecting on my somewhat newly single status and came upon this blog entry. It has given my heart hope. I am actively waiting for the man I cannot live without. I almost married mr almost right and it was only the strength I found during my Dad’s illness and dying that showed me that this was not the man I was meant to be with. I dream of marrying, of being a wife and of having children. I still have a few ducks to get in a row, but I hope and pray that I will not have to wait long for the man I cannot live without to build our family together.
January 7th, 2011 at 7:06 pm
Kiwik, I was single for 5 years before I got married. And it came out of nowhere, out of the blue, when Nate came into the picture. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I just sent a prayer out for you just now:) God knows your needs and desires. Wait on him faithfully. He will provide in the right time. Meditate on this verse in your single years:
1 Timothy 6:6
But godliness with contentment is great gain.
Before God can give you your heart’s desires, he must make sure you are content as you are, so when he gives you your heart’s desires, you will not make that thing an idol above God.
God bless!
February 22nd, 2011 at 2:15 pm
wow God bless you for such wonderful words of encouragement. I was siting hre thinking about the fact that the closest friends i have all have mates except for me. I was even at a point of wondering what may be wrong with me or what im doing wrong. By Gods awesome grace, I have so much to be grateful for yet i still find myself wondering why I am still single. Im glad God has used you as an instrument to inform me that it “In HIs own time he makes all things beautiful”. God bless,
Angie
February 22nd, 2011 at 6:52 pm
Angie, I was in your boat. I understand when it’s easy to wonder those things. I was single for FIVE years before my future husband (now husband) came into the picture out of nowhere. I remember praying after my heart was broken after my last serious relationship: “God, this hurts so much. This dating thing is so hard. I don’t EVER want to go through this again. Please, PLEASE let the next person I date be THE ONE.” So… God answered my prayer. I almost dated other guys, but nothing ever come out of it. Later I realized through my loneliness that God was just answering my prayers and protecting me from more pain! I thoroughly enjoyed my single years. and now is a different season and I love it too. I think God had to take away my idolatry towards being with a man to give me more satisfaction in all areas of my life. Now I can enjoy his gift without trying to make my husband my idol.
February 23rd, 2011 at 5:23 am
Hello All,
I am a single girl who has just met “Mr Right” but I still feel as though I have not finished living my single life out.
Godliness with content is indeed great gain because even though my beloved has proposed, I still think I need to stay single for a while before tying the knot.
The single period is great when we fill our lives with Godly things.
Before I reached this state of mind, I was weaning, crying n weeping over my single status. But when I made it a point to glorify God in my singleness by getting busy in His vineyard, I do not even want to move from this “single state” now that God Himself has brought my husband.
I am therefore encouraging all we single ladies out there to get busy with the things of God. When your life is filled, you will not feel the void of singleness and the eagerness for a partner that drives us into those dark moods will become shallow.
May God help us as we live our singleness to His glory.
February 24th, 2011 at 4:31 pm
Leticia, why are you not ready to be married? Or are you married now?
February 25th, 2011 at 5:45 am
@ModoriLei,
What I meant was that, I had been able to (with the help of the Spirit), move from my moody empty single life to an more fulfilling one so even though marriage has come knocking at my door, I still feel I have other thgs to do for the Lord before moving into Mariage. but hey,trust me, I have invited “him” in. smile!
Marriage, I have come to understand, is not Two empty souls coming together but Two people who have learnt to lead a fulfiling single life and enjoyed every bit of it.
Any single person who views marriage as a gateway to escape from the misery of singleness will end up desperately unhappy once married.
The reason is that, if u dont love yourself enough to be happy whiles patiently waiting for that Man frm God, when he comes along, you will make him your source of joy. Since God did not create your mate to be the very source of your joy, you wil end up suffocating him by wanting him to fill a void in you that he can unfortunately not, no matter how hard he tries.
The sum of it all is that, we single sisters should fill our lifes with worthy thgs so that when Mr Rite comes long, he will complement us.
Let’s make Jesus the very source.
When the help of the Spirit, it will be well.
God bless
February 26th, 2011 at 5:38 pm
that was awesomely put Leticia. thank you for sharing!
March 7th, 2011 at 10:03 am
that`s amazing … and i` agree with leticia …
March 28th, 2011 at 8:44 am
This made me cry.. God led me on this site.. I know God is still preparing the right man for me..
March 31st, 2011 at 11:42 am
hey,thank you for this wonderful article..i think god lead me into reading this….i was in a bit of confusion till now ..bt i think most of my questions were answrd ..god knows it the best… i dont really have to worry about this at all…if he is meant for me , he will come back to me… praise GOD ..HALLELUIAH! !!
August 29th, 2011 at 10:23 pm
This was beautiful.
September 17th, 2011 at 9:11 pm
Glad I read it. Praise God.
September 18th, 2011 at 3:28 pm
This was beautiful and puts a lot more things int perspective
October 22nd, 2011 at 6:55 am
I’m happy that I read this letter. Some months ago, I just felt lonesome. Now I feel content being single becauae I’ve been seeking and serving the Lord. Only God can fill a special place in my life. I’m WAITING on God’s best. Gods timing: 0) His will.
October 25th, 2011 at 6:18 pm
Deliela,
that’s awesome. God won’t leave you disappointed. He knows your needs, he placed them there! I waited 5 years, and Nate was TOTALLY worth the wait.
November 5th, 2011 at 6:54 am
@MidorLei..God bless you.
December 1st, 2011 at 4:31 am
Hi,
This is really interesting, your experience show a lot lesson behind it. May the God of Abraham, The God of Isac, The God of Israel and the God of Vanuatu be with you all always. Patience is virtue of faith and lead always to wise decision with beautiful outcome. God will provide your husbands at his Divine time…therefore patience will lead you all there.
December 11th, 2011 at 8:57 pm
awesme sight..:D…..i have….Lived alone in the LORD 16 YEARS….the joy of the LORD is my strength…He has never failed me yet….HE HEARS…HE SEES….HE KNOWS….TRUST HIM…HE CARES!
March 25th, 2012 at 8:41 pm
Beautiful! Thanks for reminding me not to settle…I will wait for Gods best and he will come in Gods best timing.
April 16th, 2012 at 4:37 pm
kristen, while you do offer good points. There are some points made where you can not have one without the other. The glory of God’s kingdom is the joy and true happiness of man. Man can not truly be happy and have joy without a wife, neither can woman without a husband. By him thinking of you, he is thinking of, considering, and advancing God’s kingdom, and His works. While no man, nor woman canever take the place of, and the grace of Christ. He will only offer his grace to those who… to be continued…
April 16th, 2012 at 4:47 pm
continued- have done all they can themselves, including relying on others, on your husband, or your wife, letting them share in your grief, burdens and joy. Faith without works is dead. The husband is to cling unto his wife, the wife to the husband. They are to devote their life to eachother. Doing so in no way impedes Gods work, not doing so does impede His work and kingdom.
April 16th, 2012 at 5:13 pm
If you think about it, Gods work is to bring about the exaltation of his children. His children can not be exalted without a physical body. God has given the sole charge, the miracle of creating physical bodies to a single man and woman duly and properly married, with their lifes devoted to eachother. If one or both are already devoted to Christ, then to truly be devoted to that person would to also be devoted to Christ. And that devotion to Him is all that much more.
April 16th, 2012 at 5:24 pm
Ah, such wonders, such simplicity, such mysteries of what His plans and works are. You can’t cling unto nor think of mr or mrs right without thinking and clinging unto Christ, nor can you do His work and follow His plans without thinking of and clinging unto your spouse. Gods work is to bring about exaltation to His children, at the very center of His work is proper marriage between a man and a woman. By no other means is it possible to move His kingdom forward, except by the sanctity of marriage
-DavidM
April 16th, 2012 at 7:43 pm
DavidM,
What about those who have the “gift of singleness?” Jesus was single. Paul was single. Many people are single and glorify God.
April 16th, 2012 at 8:14 pm
There’s actually questions about if Jesus was actually single. But there is that point, however the response was given in the context of not being single. It’s true that there are those who are single who contribute just as equally to God’s work, and they will be blessed for it, as well. However without the union between a man and a woman His work would inevitably come to a halt, that is setting aside any miracles. However He is bound by laws we don’t always know. The birth of a child is such a…
April 16th, 2012 at 8:26 pm
cental part of His plan, His work, that without such no other part nor work of His is able to be done, even by those who are single. Not to demean nor belittle their part in the grand schemes of things, as their work is as equally important. If they too fail to do their part, His plan is unable to proceed farther. It’s just that the birth of a precious child is at the bottom rung of a ladder, it’s the first step of a thousand mile journey. The last step, or the top rung is just a equally important in…
April 16th, 2012 at 8:33 pm
the grand scheme of things. The last step can’t happen without the first, likewise the goal of the first step can’t happen without the last step. Many are called, but few are chosen. There are many steps to be taken, each requiring a person with their own unique circumstances that they and they alone are called and able to do, even those who are single, or otherwise. -DavidM
April 16th, 2012 at 9:29 pm
David M…I find your comment regarding marriage as being the only vehicle to move the kingdom forward to be unscriptural. Actually, in the New Testament Paul clearly states that those who are unmarried are holy both in body and spirit, and that they are more “concerned about the things of the LORD” than those who are married.
April 17th, 2012 at 8:57 am
Oh, and I forgot to mention that those who are “blessed with singleness” throughout this life will have their chance in the life to come, as long as they didn’t refuse His gift of Mrs. or Mr. Right. As such things may be held against one in much the same way that you might hesistate to offer more gifts to someone who did not appreciate such gestures, previously. He is merciful, but He is also just. A seemingly impossible balance, but He found a way to do so. -DavidM
April 17th, 2012 at 5:17 pm
DavidM,
Thanks for clarifying that:)
April 17th, 2012 at 6:40 pm
David M…..JESUS was single. To imply otherwise is blasphemy. Also… JESUS stated that in heaven we neither marrry nor are we gven in marriage, but we will be like the angels in heaven. Male/female relations is solely for the time on earth for the purpose of reproduction.
April 18th, 2012 at 4:39 pm
Are you sure to imply such is blasphemy? W as He not the perfect example, fulfiling every commandent given to man. Was not man commanded to replenish the earth, in the sanctity of marriage? It’s not exactly clear who that Mary is at the tomb.
As for marriage being for this life only, is that a correct translation. If it is, or is not, then what praytell is meant by whatsoever ye bind on earth, shall be bound in heaven, whatsoever ye loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. It’s not an exact quote, but…
April 18th, 2012 at 4:53 pm
the meaning there.
As for the practicility of marriage and the birth of a child, not being the only means to move the work forward.
If you think about it, it’s not just scriptural, but practical. If you weren’t born, could you do the work He has for you to do in this mortal state. The answer is no, you can not.
There is at least one scripture reference that I don’t know of exactly, but it states something along the line of that whoever prohibits marriage is not of the lord. Somthing to ponder. -DavidM