A Letter for Every Single Christian Woman Who Just Wants to Find Mr. Right
So thankful that Anonymous Guy over at Associated Content took the time and effort to painstakingly respond to my article: A Letter for Every Good, Decent Christian Single Guy Who Just Wants to Find Miss Right
He’s letting me publish his letter on here! So for all the single Christian women out there, read this! (It’ll make a lot more sense if you read the other letter first, since it’s a response)
Dear Miss Right,
I could ask you the same question. None of us were created to be alone, we thrive off of love and relationship, so I think it’d be mutually beneficial for us to find each other quickly. The truth is, and this is where most guys won’t admit it, I need you as much as you need me. I’ve tried to be one of those super macho guys, but in all honesty, in my heart, nothing could be more satisfying than to be your sensitive and loving provider, your husband. My plans and ideas are everywhere. I ask God daily for direction and confirmation. God’s the only one with the big picture, because I’m as lost as you are. I know that there are wonderful things out there for us to discover together, God will reveal them to each of us in time. There IS a reason we’re still not together. Logically it’s because we haven’t met… or if we have, we haven’t gotten to know each other. You’re not the only one without a line of ducks, I think some of mine might actually be geese, in which case, I have to be rid of them and find the ducks to fill their spots.
I agree with you wholeheartedly about the right woman and the wrong time being the wrong woman. The same can be said for guys. And truthfully, God’s been dealing with me on issues that would only bring our relationship down. I struggle with the idea of being forgiven without cause, and I need to learn to be more accepting of grace. Until I am, please don’t give up on me. Truthfully, the reason we’re not together is that I’ve asked God to hold off on our introduction until I’m ready to be the man you deserve. I have some of the same fears. Trust me, nothing’s scarier for a guy than to think that he’ll be the emotional head over heels in love one, while you look on in disdain. I want to get lightheaded when you walk into a room, and I want you to melt at my smile. Don’t be afraid, you can never ask too much of God. Nothing is beyond His capacity. The very reason you feel like I should be these things for you, is because God has created a desire in you specifically for me and only me, who will be these things, and you won’t be happy with any other guy.
And believe me, I’m far from perfect. My heart aches at the very thought of you getting me. I’m the undeserving one. It’s not fair that someone with a past like mine gets coupled with the woman of his dreams. But the beauty of grace, is that it makes life not fair. I AM looking for you, and I’m waiting for God to deem the time right for us to meet. The fact that I know you’re out there doing the same, only strengthens me further. I hate to disappoint you, but I’m very much into movies and TV… Luckily, to have an interest in something does not necessarily mean to believe it. Love is not a feeling or emotion that coincides with “Happily Ever After”, it’s a choice. And I’ve decided to love you unconditionally into eternity.
Admittedly, a good appearance is nice, but appearances can be deceiving. Don’t worry about it; be yourself. My eyes were made with you in mind, so I’d say you have an advantage over other women. And besides, if you make yourself look too good, you’ll run the risk of attracting more than just me… I don’t want to have to fend the hounds off my woman! Your imperfections are what make you you, and I can put you just as easily on my screensaver or wall, as any of those other women. And the best part is, then I’ll have the real thing right by my side to keep me warm. Good luck with the cover snatching, you’ll need it. (lol) While there are a lot of pretty women out there, there’s only one for me. I would never settle for someone I could live with, and you shouldn’t either. Where’s the fun in that? I’m the one you could never imagine life without.
I’m the guy you might notice at first, but only in that, vague sort of way, but if you got to know me, you’d find a soul that yearns after God, and that’s what will help you understand the plan God has laid out for the both of us. If I only saw beauty from the world’s perspective, I’d be a rather lonely individual, wouldn’t I? There is none more beautiful than a beautiful soul. I can’t wait to be captivated by yours. I’d take on all the pain the world could throw at you, and you’d be the heaven that helped me bare it. I’ll be the first to admit, I struggle with taking a passive role. It’s hard to be a leader with no one to lead. Your point is valid, however, I find it ironic that you were the one to initiate this conversation, to which I am responding. I have difficulty knowing who to pursue, I guess my biggest fear is accidentally getting in too deep with someone that’s not you. I have been hurt and rejected, and mostly because I’ve pursued… In fact, most of the stupid things I’ve done have come from “the hunt.” Maybe I should learn to do less shooting and more tracking. I can’t just fire into the crowds and hope for a hit. God has directed me on how to set my sights to find you. And you’ll be my trophy wife. (lol, couldn’t help myself with that one.) I’ll have you know, if you think I’d get married for the sake of getting married, maybe it’s you that’s looking in the wrong places. Marriage is a commitment for life, and that’s a commitment I’d be miserable to make to anyone but you. That and I want my rib back. I’ll tell you what, my rib for the covers, sound like a deal? There is no one I’d rather build my life with.
We’ll have our pitfalls, but we’ll also have our mountain tops, and there’s no one I’d rather share my adventure with because I know that there’s no way I can grow to be the man God wants me to be without you by my side.
I’m getting kinda tired myself. It’s 58 days after New Year’s Eve, and I kissed no one… I was actually oblivious to the clock altogether as I was watching Monty Python’s Flying Circus (but that’s another story). Believe me, I’d rather have been in your arms. I wasn’t truly alone, but I was as good as. I’m one of the ones that feels lonely in a crowd, because I just don’t fit in. I’m not of this world, and that’s how you’ll be able to pick me out. I can’t wait till I can hold you as we usher in our first New Year together. It’ll be my happiest moment… until the next time you smile.
Good night to you, my love! God’s time is His own, but I pray daily that He take into consideration our time not spent together is time lost. I’ll search for you until I die, but I trust God to make sure it doesn’t take that long. Don’t settle for Mister Sorta Charming, because trust me, when you meet me, he’s going to look like the frog. I know not what form you’ll take, but I know you’ll be the woman God’s formed for and from me. I know you will have honesty, faith, tenderness, and a pure heart: each a beauty in and of its own. Even one of these is worth waiting an eternity for. I’ve loved you as long as you have me, and for the same reason. Don’t give up waiting for me, I’m searching for you. When we do finally meet, you can be sure God will have orchestrated it to bring out the both in best of us and to glorify Him in the greatest means possible. God’s been moving in both of our lives, and He’s been moving us together. It’s only a matter of time before that finally happens.
Forever Yours,
Mister Right
p.s. That guy you were talking about that week, the one that was even at the bar in the first place? Yeah, probably not me. : )
*I highlighted my favorite parts! Thanks Mr Anonymous Guy!




March 4th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
No problem, you’re welcome.
March 4th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
i love you guys, nice blog, good to read it…keep up the good work…
March 13th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
I’m trying to post this article seperately on my Associated Content profile, maybe then it’ll get out to more people. It got rejected the first time… something about a numbered list… I detect no numbered list here…
March 16th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
This was an amazing entry, this encouraged me. every thing written here totally represents the this a prayed about and the things you want to know about what that man is truly thinking!
Thank you so much for writing this letter.
March 18th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Haha. You’re so much welcome. Thanks for taking the time to read it. It’s nice to see it’s actually encouraging people. It’s something I just felt led to write.
August 19th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
WOW!!! Thank you SO much for your post. It is amazing and SHOCKING to me that there are men out there that care and take this so deeply serious. I have written DOZENS of letters to my future husband and you have DEFINATELY encouraged me to not give up and to stick to my standards and have patience. KEEP IT UP and GOD bless you immensly!!!
August 20th, 2009 at 8:09 am
That’s awesome that you do that CoffeeGirl! Yeah, don’t settle. God will show you who is right for you. Wait for the very literal “match made in heaven!”
August 27th, 2009 at 1:20 am
For a moment, I thought you were the guy I was hoping to see again, after we both ate all that ice cream together.
February 3rd, 2010 at 11:37 am
i cried…
February 4th, 2010 at 12:12 am
Teresa, I hope it was tears of hope…
March 29th, 2010 at 9:36 pm
That was AMAZING!!!! I just stumbled upon your blog tonight and could not stop reading! THANK YOU both for speaking straight from your hearts.I felt like I could have written the girl letter myself… it sounded so much like me. Settling has never been an option for me, but as you get older it seems to want to slip in… As a result of reading and crying over this post, I once again know 100% that MY Mister Right is worth the wait for sure and then some. Thanks for that gentle reminder Mr. Anonymous-you are appreciated!
THANK YOU & GOD BLESS <
May 15th, 2010 at 10:50 pm
God new I needed to hear this Thank the Lord for the Body of Christ ..Also the Holy Spirit as our guide to connect us that you may be glorified in all things….What encouragement to the ladies and gentlemen in waiting to persevere for God’s best ….Oh I thank the Lord for fulfilling my need this night as I came across this amazing letter from the Lord using you as a vessel Thank You for being an obedient messenger of the Lord…
May 23rd, 2010 at 5:33 am
I just realized it’s so lonely being SINGLE….but reading this makes me feel okay… hope to meet my MR. RIGHT
July 10th, 2010 at 6:14 pm
Hey there! This was a kind letter. However, and I hate to be the unromantic one, it is actually deeply troubling.
I do not want a man who values me above God, and I do not want a man who seeks to take Christ’s place in my life. I don’t think that’s what the purpose of this letter was, but there were several lines, such as “I’d take on all the pain the world could throw at you, and you’d be the heaven that helped me bare it.” which were concerning.
Christ alone can take (and has taken) the “pain the world [can] throw at [me].” Nobody can take that kind of suffering besides the God-Man Himself. For anyone to suppose they can, it is incredibly dangerous, because the amount of suffering the enemy can cause us is great indeed; futhermore, it is even MORE dangerous for a woman to believe a man, any human, could take that kind of suffering because inevitably, we will all let each other down.
How about this. I pray that the man of my dreams is NOT thinking about me right now, but rather has his eyes fixed upon Christ and His Kingdom. Do not focus on me; focus on the work the Lord has called you to do to His glory. Likewise, I will try, with God’s help, to refocus my own thoughts and heart upon Him and Him alone, and to seek to live my life for His glory and to advance His Kingdom.
When he and I are brought together, we will recognize one another because we will both have the same passion and calling that God has given to us; we will be equals and co-workers in advancing the Kingdom. We will be attracted to one another, physically and spiritually; that is not something to even worry about.
God knows what we need; trust Him.
July 13th, 2010 at 7:58 pm
Kristen, you make some intriguing points but I have to beg to differ.
By him saying, “I’d take on all the pain the world could throw at you, and you’d be the heaven that helped me bare it,” I don’t think he’s trying to take the place of Christ in his wife’s life, but as a husband he is called to lay his life down for his wife, as Christ laid down his life for the church, and this is just one way of doing that.
Eph 5 says:
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—
so his desire to “take on the pain of the world” for his woman is a good and noble thing, as it is a way that he would “give himself up for her,” by putting her needs and comfort above his own.
Suffering shared by two parties is definitely to lessen the load as it is written:
As Eccleciastes 4 says:
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
We are here to help each other in our suffering and weaknesses.
I hope that men are thinking of their future wives, even as they fix their eyes on Jesus. They can do both simultaneously. In fact, it would be nearly impossible for a man to not think of his future wife if in fact he is responsible for finding her:
Proverbs 18:22
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.
Indeed this is his job to find a wife and that begins with thinking about what he’s looking for, and thus thinking about her. Men cannot expect God to just place a woman in their laps, they are given the task of “finding that wife.” Or as one of my favorite pastors once joked, “You don’t stumble upon a field and find a jewel, you have to go searching for it!”
A virtuous wife is exactly that: compared to a ruby:
Proverbs 31:10
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Indeed men should not feel guilt at searching for a wife. It is his job and a noble job that at it’s completion, God even says to the man that he now finds “favor with the Lord.”
But you do make a great point, that we will let each other down. Nonetheless, it is honorable for a man to think of his future wife, search for her, want to protect her and actively pursue her.