Attraction

A Lesson For Men: The Kind of Men Women Fall in Love with


This quote is taken from the story “Do You Know That Feeling?” by Cynthia Rylant:

I like him, mama, don’t ask me why. Maybe the reason I like him so much is because he likes me so much. You wouldn’t believe how totally smitten he is with me. Is it possible, do you think, to love somebody just because he’s so good at loving you, or is that the most conceited thing you ever heard of? He loves my hair, Mama. Says I have the prettiest hair he’s ever seen. And the biggest lonesome eyes. But I won’t tell you what he says about my legs, to save us both from blushing.

Oh Crystal, it is so possible. Reminds me of this quote I completely believe:

The desire of the man is for the woman. The desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.

Guys, the secret is out. Women can fall in love with you just because you fall in love with them—as long as you show it in word and deed. It doesn’t always happen, but seriously, haven’t you seen super hot women with plain or even ugly men and wonder what they have that you don’t? Sometimes it’s as simple as this: they wear their heart on their sleeve and aren’t shy about their feelings. They aren’t afraid to verbalize that they want the girl and what they love about the girl. Seriously, it works.

Why? Because women love a hunter.

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I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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  1. Pingback: Anonymous

  2. Anonymous Guy

    Okay, this is probably totally off topic, or maybe not… but God revealed something to me today, that I felt a major compulsion to share. I don’t know how strong anyone who visit’s this sites faith is, but I know lately I’ve been really growing in God’s word and His will. He teaches everywhere thoughout his word (Matthew 10:39, 16:25, Mark 8:35, Luke 9:24, 17:33) that ‘whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me (Jesus) will save it.’ Another brilliant example of parodoxical perfection from Christ. And so true. Lately all I’ve been seeking is to find my ‘soulmate’. My every prayer has hinged on asking God to draw me closer to her. That’s not how it works. While life is about love, it’s not about the love between man and woman, but between man, woman, and God. The love between man and woman only symbolizes the true love of Christ for us. Those of us spending every waking hour searching for Mr. or Ms. Right won’t find them until we’ve found the true MR. RIGHT in Christ Jesus. And to do that, we have to give our ENTIRE hearts to Him. No reservations. Dive deep. Earthly relationships must take a far second. We truly have to LOSE the life we have planned out for ourselves. Forget about it. It doesn’t matter. You don’t need a husband or wife to be happy. Fall in love with Jesus, and you’ll see what happiness and love really means. And then, if it’s His will, and not your own, will you meet your earthly other half and together will be able to truly celebrate the love of Christ. Life’s not about the hunt for earthly love, if that’s all you’re living for you’re wasting your life. There is a love far greater beyond any and all comprehension and He wants to know you. He died to know you. You killed him, and He still wants you. Fall into His arms and He’ll set you free. Lose the life you have planned out, and you will gain what you never imagined you could have.

  3. MidoriLei

    Anonymous Guy! Your comment blew me away. It is so true. When I least expected it, the most amazing man came back into my life, and as great as things are with us, my relationship with God will always be my number one priority. I told him this and I told him that it had to be this way otherwise I could never know how to love others or have the power to love others the way they should be loved.

    A relationship with God– making that supreme– that is my purpose in life. To abide in his presence and love Him and be loved by Him. THERE IS NO GREATER LOVE.

    I talk about relationships and all the joys and trials that come from them, but it pales in comparison to experiencing the love of God in a very personal, tangible way.

    Thank you for sharing!!!!!

  4. hunter

    Jason, if it is in his will, you will meet your earthly other half?….What do people in their prime, do for sex, while praying for the other half?…

  5. hunter

    Jason, no sex, can lead to repression, depression, suppression, etc. according to American Medical Journal.

  6. Anonymous Guy

    Firstly, my name’s not Jason. And secondly, ‘What do people in their prime, do for sex, while praying for the other half?’. Define prime. I can’t imagine how many women you’ve picked up with the lines, “We’re only young once, so might as well enjoy it while you got it!” That’s right, you’re only young once. Don’t ruin it. Everything you do while you’re in you’re “prime” will last all of those long years to go… if you live that long. Now, how do you want to spend what life you have? Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex… with maybe a little eating and sleeping involved somewhere? Honestly what kind of life is that? Party it up now, pay for it later seems to be todays philosophy, and look where the world is now.

    You’ve got me all wrong. *grin* I’m actually saying the opposite of “pray for the other half.” I’m saying completely FORGET about the other half. FORGET about sex. *gasp* It’s beyond comprehension isn’t it? Good. That’s the way it should be. Christianity does not fit well with this world. Our world is so bogged down in it’s own lies that when truth is revealed, everyone’s against it. True Christianity isn’t supposed to be integratable with society. Everything in this world strives against it. Sex is meant for one man and one woman after marriage period. End of sentence.

  7. Anonymous Guy

    And as for your second topic. If you really want to get into the psychology behind it, why would lack of sex cause these things? Perhaps because these people have been ingrained from birth by society that they should be having sex, so when they’re not, they feel as though somethings wrong? No, that couldn’t be it, could it? There must be something wrong with whoever says otherwise… y’know… those Christians. : )

  8. hunter

    Maybe, but doesn’t our creator keep us sexed up just to keep this planet populated?

  9. hunter

    Prime, a person in their 20’s and 30’s.

  10. hunter

    Yes, we do pay for whatever decision we make.

  11. Anonymous Guy

    I believe you refer to when He told Adam and Eve to go forth and populate. Now, when there are only two people on the face of the earth, why, yes, there is a VAST need to populate. However, that was 6,000 years ago. Earth is pretty populated.

    And while yes, population is one reason for sex, it’s not the only reason. As is possible with anything in nature, being created by God for us, we can take a cue from the dolphins, who actually sometimes have sex just for pleasure. Now, here’s the point, dolphins mate for life. They have ONE partner, with whom they both reproduce AND enjoy each others pleasure.

    And finally, even though sex is both a means of population and pleasure, it’s not needed in everyones life. Jesus Christ, who’s life we are to mirror, did not have sex. Not once. This does not mean that we shouldn’t, as sex was created and therefore can be good, it simply means that it’s possible to live without it. And even though sex was created for good between man and wife, like all things earthly, it can and has been contaminated. It’s been contaminated to the point where now society encourages premarital promiscuity.

  12. MidoriLei

    I just want to point out that even though people live without sex and even though our earth is populated, we are still called to go forth and populate to keep the Christian bloodline going.

    Muslim families produce many children while most Christian families produce only a couple. Check this out:

    “For all practical purposes, Christianity has already died in Europe. It is no wonder that militant religions such as Islam are proliferating at the rate they are. Hundreds of churches scattered across Europe have already been turned in mosques.”

    “Bruce’s prediction that Christianity (as a dominate influence) will die within the United States during the next 50 years could actually come true. It is generally understood that the U.S. is about 50 years behind Europe in terms of moral and spiritual propensities. Remember that it was spiritual revival in Europe that ultimately gave birth to these United States. Now, America is following Europe’s lead into paganism.”

    I think the call for Adam and Eve to populate the earth is still a call for us today– that is to raise godly children for future generations.

    You can check out the entire article here:

    http://www.covenantnews.com/baldwin020917.htm

    It ends on a positive note, but I just wanted to make the point that the earth’s high population isn’t what matters, what matters is bringing people to Christ and raising future generations of strong Christians to continue the call to bring people to Christ.

    Also, Anonymous guy, I have to completely disagree with this: “I’m saying completely FORGET about the other half. FORGET about sex.”

    Even in a perfect world before sin entered the world, Adam felt the need for companionship from the opposite sex. He knew longing before the fall. He knew something was missing. His solution was not to ignore it and try to replace it with God. It’s there. It’s human. It’s good. I don’t think we’re called to ignore it. I think we should hope for it and prepare for it. It shouldn’t keep us from what God asks of us now– Adam named the animals, he worked in the garden, he fellow shipped with God, it shouldn’t be made into an idol, but it is good and right to acknowledge that we have that longing, not to completely forget about it.

  13. Anonymous Guy

    I’m not saying we shouldn’t raise Christian children. I agree whole heartedly that what matters is bringing people to Christ. However, that doesn’t change the fact that yes, Christianity is dying out. Our world will not return to it’s former goodness until the second coming of Christ predicted in Revelations. It’s all downhill for Christians from here. We will be persecuted, we will be outcasts, it will get worse. Infact, it will escalade to the point to where the final battle of Armageddon will be fought as man’s last effort to drive God out of the world. Our world will have gotten so bad, and Christian’s so few, that the world leaders will actually think it possible to rid the world once and for all of Christianity. And that’s when Christ will return, and wipe the world clean for the final time.

    Now, in reguards to your beliefs about marriage, I direct you to the apostle Paul in his first letter to the church in Corinth. 1 Corinthians 7:1-2 “Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.” 8-9 “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” 32-35 “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs-how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world-how he can please his wife- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world-how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.”

    Even in Pauls time the Old Testament need to populate the earth had been fulfilled. Now as for your Adam argument, I direct you to Genesis. Where it was not Adam, but God, in Genesis 2:18 that says “It is not good for man to be alone.” Adam had no longing for woman, because he was not aware that he should have longing. It’s not as though Adam said, “Hey, God! I’m, uh… feeling pretty lonely… y’know by myself… so… Y’know, you could make me something to have sex with. Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks God!” And then God slapped Himself in the forehead and said, “Oh, of course! How could I have forgotten?! Here ya go!” No. Quite the opposite. Adam was entirely content with what he had, because he simply didn’t know there could be anything more. He had literally been given the world. It wasn’t until God surprised him with Eve that it was far more likely that Adam, not God, slapped himself in the forehead and dropped to his knees thanking God for that one more thing that he had created out of His good will and foresight.

  14. hunter

    Contaminated? The world will return to goodness? Did you know, that the days when the bible was written, and for many years after, there were savages running around? Very little policing, if any. Thieves, pirates, rapist, murders, in abundance. If you think we have corruption in our police departments now, I have news for you, about the medieval/bible times….scripture has brought us a long way, we are living in fairly decent times, is my point…

  15. hunter

    Anonymous guy, you may not like the following. Married or not, a couple receives a blessing from our creator every time they have sex. That increases the chances of bringing more souls into this world. Which is what he wants.

  16. hunter

    ….he has a way of making good out of most any situation….my point is, life is not that serious/tough/precise/exact….

  17. Anonymous Guy

    Yes, contamination. Sin is contamination upon perfection. Everyone sins. There is no one perfect, not one. Except the one who died to pay the price for OUR contamination, our sin. When you say “the days” the Bible was written you reference a time span of roughly 4,000 years. And that was roughly 1,000 years BEFORE medieval times. The world was very ordered. The Romans were in charge of literally half the world. They had a system of democracy on which OURS is based. They were very much like us. Have you watched the news lately? Thivery, piracy, rapes, and murders are STILL in abundance. Except now we have less severe punishments. You atleast have a chance at paroll or escape from jail. No one escapes from death. Except Jesus Christ who conquered death so that we, who trust in Him, may have eternal life in Heaven.

    Do you happen to have Biblical evidence of our Creator’s opinion coinciding with yours? Infact, in Deuteronomy 20 starting in verse 13 it describes the very process a man in early Biblical times, when the goal was still to populate the earth, was to take if he slept with his wife only to find out that she was not a virgin before their marriage. She was to be taken out and stoned to death by the elders of the town. Sure, go out and have all the sex you want, as long as you’re still a virgin when you do get married.

    Life IS that serious. God is an almighty just God who will judge the wicked that do not live up to His standards. What could be more serious than your life? It’s the only one you’ve got, don’t waste it. But just because it’s serious, doesn’t mean it can’t also be fun. The joy that comes from Christ far outways the guilty pleasures the world has to offer. After all, He made you, don’t you think He knows how to make you happy beyond anything you can find in this world?

  18. MidoriLei

    Anonymous Guy, I guess I was taking this verse:

    Gen 2: 19, 20 Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.

    And making the assumption that Adam was the one who noticed that he did not have a helper comparable to him. It was Adam who did not find a helper, not God. I made this assumption because I assumed that God brought the animals in pairs like they did when they entered the ark (the clean animals at least) and from those pairings Adam realized he did not have someone like the animals did.

    It might be a far stretch but I just wanted to share why I think Adam was the one who came to a realization that there was no one like him. He made this realization BEFORE God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Basically, Adam realized the “alone” part, then God filled the need.

    I don’t know what to think about the marriage/kids/need to produce mandate. I just don’t understand why a command to our first parents ceases to be applicable to us today. To me, Paul was just saying that those with the “gift” of singleness– those people can and should stay unmarried. The rest of us? The ones who burn with passion and cannot ignore the sexual dynamic of being human, we should get married. And marriage in the bible seems to be synonymous with having children– and the more the better it seems!

  19. Anonymous Guy

    I agree with you on most points. But for Adam to realize he was alone is not synonomous with longing. He simply did not have a helper comparable to him. He was not infused with the desire to reproduce before there was a means to. That came with Eve.

    As for how a commandment given to our ancestors doesn’t apply to us today. It’s as simple as the difference between the Old and New Testaments. Do we today still have to slaughter animals for our sins? Do we today still have to stone those who live morally impure? It’s no longer necessary. Christ came so that we may be free from the laws of the Old Testament. We are no longer commanded to do anything. It’s all free-will. That being the case, of course we can still reproduce, and still will. I’m not against reproduction. One day I hope to have kids. I think somewhere along the line I’ve been painted as strictly against sex. I’m not. I’m just against using it in the wrong way, outside of marriage. Having children is a part of sex. I’m not against reproduction, just against the notion that to have children is a commandment that still applies to us today. It’s an option, a wonderful option even, but not a commandment.

    Marriage is not synonomous with children having. Marriage is synonymous with love. While sex is an expression of that love, and usually leads to children, not always. There were many barren women mentioned in the Bible that were wed out of love. Marriage is a bond between man and woman representing the bond between human and God.

  20. Anonymous Guy

    Look, I don’t claim to have all of the answers. All I claim is to know the One who does. He’s been revealing one thing after another two me. As I said, I don’t know how far along the people who visit this websites faith is. Nothing you can say can sway me, and apparently nothing I can will sway you. We do nothing for each other by arguing. I trust in the Lord for my answers. If He says it, it is truth. I don’t claim to know where everyone here get their answers, although I would hope they too sought the truth in Christ, who is the truth, the life, and the way. I won’t pester any of you with my opinions, but I pray that you seek the truth for yourselves, not in words of man, but in the Word of God. Please don’t pick and choose what you wish to believe in the Bible. Either you believe it is the absolute complete truth, or it isn’t. It can’t be both ways. That’s all I have to say.

  21. MidoriLei

    Yes, Adam realizing he was alone is not synonymous with longing as far as sexual longing– I never meant to imply that, but I think that there was a longing for companionship.

    Now the difference between Old and New Testament? You’re right. We live under only one law now: the law of love– for God and for people. It is optional to get married but the option is hinged on a person’s need (or lack) of a need to have sex. Show me in the bible where the reason to marry is because it is synonymous with love. I don’t find that anywhere. It’s for people so they do not “burn with passion.” It’s for a man so he can lust after 1 woman instead of many and visa versa. “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.” Yes, there is a parallel between Christ’s marriage to the church, but from the human perspective alone, it is so that people can have sex without fornicating.

    Also, I take these verses:

    Matthew 19:4-6 (New King James Version)
    4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made[a]them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’[b] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?[c] 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

    Not just applying to marriages that are made, but to the institution of marriage in general. God has made male and female– to be one. God has joined them together from the very beginning. I believe this wasn’t just talking about specific men and women but men and women in general. They belong in marriage if they are inclined to “cleave” sexually. He didn’t make man and then woman and then say, decide for yourselves if you want to be together. He made them male and female– so they can be one. He made eve from Adam’s body. I think these verses are pretty clear on that matter. “he made them male and female… FOR THIS REASON… a man leaves his mother and father and joins his wife.” It says nothing about marriage being for the purpose of love, although men are called to also love their wives and women are called to respect their husbands. The main purpose is to stop fornication and because male and female are made to be one.

    mark 10:6-9 also deals with this:

    6 But from the BEGINNING OF CREATION, God ‘made them male and female.’[a] 7 ‘FOR THIS REASON a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh’;[b] so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 THEREFORE WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER, LET NO MAN SEPARATE.”

    People use these verses only on specific cases involving specific men and women. Like a man chooses a woman and now the vows say “what God has joined together, let not man separate.” But the reality is that it isn’t just about that one man and that woman and their choice to be together. God didn’t say this precept about Adam and Eve but all males and females (who don’t have the gift of singleness) He created marriage so that men and women can become one. I think it’s pretty clear.

    That being said, I still think that marriage is synonymous with having children. Marriage is optional, yes, (hinged upon having the gift of singleness or not) but the women you mentioned who married in the bible, it’s not like they didn’t
    TRY to have kids. God didn’t allow them to. They were barren. And I am not familiar with these women. Can you enlighten me? Do you have some verses? That would be great!

  22. MidoriLei

    no arguing here:) Just some friendly and healthy sharing of different insights and viewpoints! lol

  23. hunter

    MidoriLei, forgive us for getting off topic, on this one….

  24. Anonymous Guy

    Yeah… I just felt led to share what I had learned for the first post. I should have left it at that and not attempted to refute, especially when I didn’t specifically feel led to refute. My flesh felt the desire for one upmanship if you will, and THAT was what led me to continually refute until it got to this point. I hereby repent, and ask forgiveness of both God and you two.

  25. Anonymous Guy

    Although… I do feel led to point out that God IS love. So it’s all about love, even marriage. : )

    Okay, that’s all.

  26. MidoriLei

    Oh, please don’t ask for forgiveness! I LOVE the openness going on here from both of you! I appreciate honesty and authenticity! Thank you guys both! I read through all the comments and appreciate any viewpoints, seriously! And Anonymous Guy, you make a very VERY strong case. TRUE. God is Love. It’s all about Love. I cannot argue that at all!

  27. hunter

    Sharing yes, I am like a parrot, I only repeat what I hear….hhhmmmh..

  28. Anonymous

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  29. Joshone

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  30. hunter

    Midori,

    Tell us more about how to compliment a woman.

  31. kirk eichman

    Making her(just friend)jealous work in if favor?

  32. Anonymous

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