Dating Advice

How to Write a List of What YOU Need in a Partner

This is a part 3 to making a list of what you need in a partner,

This is for people who are ready to get married. People who are ready to commit and are sincere about searching for a partner. If you’re still in college, wait. If you’re just starting to date, wait.  Wait until your heart tells you that it does not want to walk alone anymore.

First of all, pray. 

This list of needs should be devoted to the will that God has for you. Ask Him, and He will show you what you need. 

Then you have to ask yourself soul searching questions. Here are a few to get you started:

What is my energy level?

If you partner with someone who is into 5ks on holidays and early morning runs, while you are into Netflix and naps eventually some conflicts may arise.  Your partner will want you to do things with them that they enjoy, and you will want the same.  You will both have to compromise and meet with a happy medium, and while exercise may be a good influence, do you want it to be a source of conflict.  

Really know your energy level, and find someone to match it or go up or down one or two levels at most.  Expecting yourself to completely change your natural energy level is not fair to yourself.  Expecting yourself to notch it up or down one or two levels is a good compromise.

What is my life focus?

Are you fun oriented, where nothing gets in the way of a good time?

Family oriented, ie. Vacations are to visit your family that lives far away?

Work oriented?  Everything is about getting the job done.

Understanding this trait about yourself and explaining it when you meet someone, will resolve a lot of possible conflicts.  You don’t have to necessarily find someone who exactly the same as you, but it would help, and at the minimal look to ensure that your partner has an open mind to accept your priorities, even though they might not be the same as theirs.

What character traits must I have in a partner?

I know that my personality leans toward Type A: always wanting things completed immediately and correctly, needing things in their spot, and wanting to be understood the first time.  

It is a war against this poorer nature.  The last thing I need is a partner who is going add to the fight.  Instead, I need someone who is laid back and relaxed. 

More than this though, I desire someone, and I imagine you do as well, who is honest, loyal, faithful and kind. 

Does work-ethic matter to you?

Examine your family culture. My dad and my mom work hard and with out complaining.  Because this is the example I grew up with, I cannot respect a man who does not work and work hard.  

Is this something that matters to you?  Think about different friends and their positions in life.  Think about how you would feel if their attitude toward work directly impacted your financial life or your day to day existence. Then take that a step further to examine what you need in a partner when it comes to work. 

It is a deep activity. 

And these are just some basic ideas to get you started.  Life experiences will breed different points of interest and focus.  What is a priority to me, might not be to anyone but me. So consider the things that are most important to you in this short time we have here on Earth and build from there.  

Once you have a list, put it in your Bible and pray over it daily.  I told of a friend who did this in her mid-thirties, and now she has a wonderful husband, and a beautiful daughter.  God hears our prayers.

“Take delight in the Lord and He will give you your heart’s desires.” Psalm 37:4

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Article written by:

I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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  1. Fazal Mayar

    Thanks for sharing

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