I used to be really scared of dating someone I met online. But I gave in. I have yet to actually meet anyone in person, but I’ve come a long way as far as my attitude about online dating is concerned. Now I realize that online guys are just like guys I see walking down the street. (or in the library)The truth is it’s hard to meet new people unless you go to bars, clubs or you’re interested in dating a coworker. It’s hard to meet new people when you always go to the same places and see the same people. So, I’ve chatted with a few men online, started to talk to one on the phone… and actually have only great things to say about them! Being scared of online dating is soooo 2007:)
Here are five picture tips for guys, based on what I’ve come across:
1. Please, please, please keep your shirt on.
Please. We love that you might have a six pack under that shirt. We know you worked hard for it. But you know how you pass over those girls who are barely covered and look like porn stars because they are just screaming sex? (if you’re looking for an actual relationship) If you actually want a relationship, not a one night stand… well, please keep your shirt on. It’s screaming, “I just want to get laid!” Now if that is your intent, then you’re advertising correctly. But if you want a woman— the complete package and not just her body, (believe me, you want the entire package!) then don’t show off your body. When I’m online and someone friends me on myspace without wearing a shirt, I don’t even look at their profile. I just delete the friend request asap. People judge by first impressions. That’s just the way things are. And when you don’t have a shirt on, you give the impression that you’re all about sex. (Or you’re too into yourself) Either way, it’s not a good impression.
2. Smile.
Girls are already a little hesitant and scared to meet someone online, and then when we run into profiles with guys who look like they took a mugshot photo and stuck it on their profile, it’s not exactly an invitation to get to know you better. That whole “mysterious” guy appeal you’re trying to promote is being translated into “scary guy who doesn’t smile.” If you hate smiling in photos, at least make it a point to not look angry or mean in your picture. Also, close-up shots will get you the most attention. Why? Because just like you, women are searching for men through galleries, and the easier it is to see your face clearly, the more likely they’ll click your picture to read your profile. Get a second opinion from a trusted friend before you make your final choice as far as your default picture is concerned.
3. Please show a picture where we can actually see your face clearly.
Take off the shades. I promise you, it doesn’t up your “cool” factor. We want to see your eyes. Women who are trying to meet men online are trying to make a connection. And honestly, we can’t do that when we can’t even see the “windows to your soul.”
Get rid of that picture where you’re on top of a mountain and we have to squint to see your face. Or that one where you’re on a motorcycle and your face is covered by a helmet. Or that one where you’re skiing and doing a stunt. Most people search galleries, so if we can’t see your face from the gallery shot, more likely than not, we’ll move on to a picture of a guy who has an actual portrait shot. Believe me, girls are more interested in your face than your body. So give us a close-up picture!
4. Get rid of the drunken photos asap. (unless you want to date a party girl)
5. Don’t look too “posey.”
What I mean by that… If your pictures make you look like you’re posing to be a male model, it just makes us think you’re in love with yourself. The only time those “posey” pictures look appropriate is if you’re actually a signed male model, modeling for real advertisements. I can vouch for a lot of women. We are tired of the metrosexuals who take longer to get ready than we do and stare at themselves in the mirror more than they look at us. We want our men to be into us, not themselves. Don’t get me wrong, confidence is hot, but true confidence is also marked with humility. Pride (egotism) on the other hand, goes hand in hand with insecurity.
And one more piece of advice. Don’t be anything like this guy:
Yikes!!!
Congratulations on being so progressive. 🙂 See, not quite so scary after all, is it? I find that people online are just a cross section of the same sorts you would encounter offline. Sure, you have plenty of weirdos, but there are just as many pleasant, normal individuals as well.