Dating Advice

12 Types Of Females

*Note: I posted this article many years ago and just now realized I didn’t mention that this content is not mine! So sorry. I found this on a myspace anonymous posting shared by a friend. I just added the visuals.

1. Ms. Gold-Digger
Ms. Gold-Digger
ADVANTAGES
a. You have some one to manage your money.
b. She always looks good.
c. She makes your friends jealous.
d. She makes you look good.

DISADVANTAGES
a. When you get broke she’ll be gone and take what you have left.
b. She makes sure she has a child by you to sue you for child support.
c. Once your rich friend comes up she’ll be on his arm the next day.

2. Ms. Freak (secret lover)
Ms. Freak
ADVANTAGES
a. She knows all the right positions.
b. She’ll try everything more than once.
c. You’re never unsatisfied.
d. She’ll do all the things your girl won’t do.
e. She doesn’t mind being your freak, as long as she catches one too.

DISADVANTAGES
a. Eventually, b/c she’s a female, she’ll end up catching feelings.
b. She starts to act like she’s your “main”.
c. She messes around with your friend and act like you are in the wrong for telling her that she’s a freak.
d. Eventually her stuff gets old. And you need a replacement.

3. Ms. Independent
Ms. Independent
ADVANTAGES
a. You don’t have to worry about buying her anything. She’s already got it.
b. She’s intelligent, sassy, confident and determined.
c. She’s great for (business) conversation.
d. She keeps it real and has goals.
e. She knows how to please a man.

DISADVANTAGES
a. She will continuously let you know that she can handle it on her own.
b. She will eventually say screw you and get a dildo.
c. She will consider you another one her play toys, or goals.

4. Ms. Dyme
Ms. Dyme
ADVANTAGES
a. She’s top of the line.
b. She stays looking like a fantasy.
c. She has the body of a goddess with the face to match.
d. She considers herself a “model”
e. Gets turns you on whenever you see her.
f. All the girls envy her, but she doesn’t care.

DISADVANTAGES
a. She’s superficial. She cares only about her looks.
b. She honestly lacks confidence and will annoy you about the way she looks.
c. She’s probably dumb and if she’s not, her personality is dry.
d. You have to constantly keep your game up b/c every guy is gonna try to get her.

5. Ms. Tomboy
Ms. Tomboy
ADVANTAGES
a. She’s cool and laid back.
b. She’ll be willing to play rough with you.
c. Of course, she loves sports.
d. Her body is athletically divine.
e. She’s easy to talk to and fun to be around.
f. She’s a diamond in the rough.

DISADVANTAGES
a. She’ll remind you too much of your friends.
b. She might not want to change her appearance.
c. She might actually beat you in basketball, football and track.

6. Ms. Rebel
Ms. Rebel
ADVANTAGES
a. She’s not afraid of any other female or male. She will fight to keep you.
b. She’s down for you. She’ll be there to bail you out of jail.
c. She strong and a true individual.
d. She can make the best out of a bad situation.
e. She keeps it real and keeps you satisfied.

DISADVANTAGES
a. She doesn’t know how to act in public.
b. Your mama can’t stand her.
c. You get into it with her every other second.
d. She’s willing to fight another girl looking at you or her PERIOD.
e. Her hair colors, tatoos, and or piercings are distracting and her vocabulary is minimal.

7. Ms. Good Girl
Ms. Good Girl
ADVANTAGES
a. She’s always there for you.
b. She’s intelligent, classy, kind, sweet and cool.
c. Your mother loves her.
d. You can see yourself falling in love with her.
e. You are her first everything.
f. She makes you feel like a man.

DISADVANTAGES
a. She’s an A or B situation either:
A. You’re not gonna get any until ya’ll are married or
B. She said she’s never done – she said she’s never tried – she’s sitting there telling a straight out lie.

8. Ms. Main
Ms. Main
ADVANTAGES
a. She is the one you respect.
b. She probably may know about the others but might not care.
c. She has all the qualities you want in a female.
d. You’ve been with her forever.

DISADVANTAGES
a. She starts getting very suspicious and calls you every moment.
b. She will devise a plan to catch you in your act and then kick you out.

9. Ms. Psycho
Ms. Psycho
ADVANTAGES
a. She’s fun and spontaneous.
b. She’s down to earth.
c. She loves you unconditionally.
d. Everything about her is too good to be true, so everyone loves her.
e. She makes you feel loved.

DISADVANTAGES
a. Don’t you break up with her. She will stalk you.
b. She keeps pictures of you everywhere and knows everything about you.
c. She can manipulate you.
d. She will consider herself wifey even if she may just be that chick on the side.
e. Messin’ with her can make your life a living hell.

10. Ms. I have a Man
Ms. I have a Man
ADVANTAGES
a. She may have a man but she’ll mess with you anyway.
b. She looks good.
c. You have an intense night of passion with her.

DISADVANTAGES
a. She’ll always come crying to you about the problems with her man.
b. She’ll get you caught up and then leave you anyway for her man.
c. If you piss her off she’ll get her man to come beat you up.
d. She’ll unofficially make you her man once she gets pissed off at her real man.

11. Ms. Tease
Ms. Tease
ADVANTAGES
a. She’s tempting and a nice piece of eye candy.
b. She’s intelligent, athletic, respectable and SEXXXXXXY.
c. She knows how to turn you on without touching you.
d. Everything she does is just so sensual.
e. She can bring you to that point and make you wait to get it.
f. Every time you see her you catch a mini orgasm.
g. Every guy wants her b/c she’s so mysterious and that makes you want to get her first.

DISADVANTAGES
a. NO matter what you think or do you never get it.
b. She probably has a long distance boyfriend somewhere that you will never know about.
c. She gets you hard and leaves you like that. (Unbearable)

12. MRS. RIGHT
MRS. RIGHT
ADVANTAGES
a. She is not sexy, fine, or a dyme, but she is Beautiful and therefore encompasses all of these descriptions.
b. She is intelligent, sassy, funny, outgoing, determined, strong and classy.
c. She can cook or at least order a meal that is just like your mother’s.
d. Her personality is just as beautiful as her body.
e. She believes in God and follows his virtues.
f. She knows that a relationship requires a 200% quota yet she gives her man an extra 10%.
g. She can please her man in anyway. Mentally, Spiritually, and Sexually.
h. She makes you recognize your full potential as a man and completes you.
i. She’s always there for you, no matter what your dreams are.
j. She’s not afraid to tell you the truth and set you straight.
k. You can talk to her and confide in her; she’s your best friend.
l. You love being around her more than your boys.
m. You can share your most intimate moments with her without sex.
n. You can have a bad argument with her and have the BEST Mind Numbing and passionate love making fest ever.
o. She’s always willing to find a way to work out your problems and will often take most of your *bleep*. But she’s also intelligent enough to leave.
p. She’s nothing like any other girl you’ve met. She’s your woman.

DISADVANTAGE
a. You’ve probably met her, or had her in your life but got too consumed with all the other types that you let her go

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Join the discussion

  1. greg

    perfect! except under gold-digger, you need to change the word manage to spend!!

  2. hunter

    I never would have thought, about 12 types of women out there…..

  3. Sara

    This is perfect. All of these women are described perfectly. I think every man should read this, so he know’s what to look out for.

  4. K.A. Brown

    I LOVED reading this!!!

  5. Bob

    Totally lame and sexist.

  6. S. T. Ncwane

    just wot i hv been lookin for, thank u Lord

  7. Scratch

    @ Bob: how is it sexist? You’re old-fashioned and anti-sex.

  8. Scratch

    From 12: “She believes in God and follows his virtues.”

    So why are you so keen on cheating?

  9. MidoriLei

    Scratch, ? I don’t understand your commment.

  10. Scratch

    10. Ms. I have a Man
    a. She may have a man but she’ll mess with you anyway.
    c. You have an intense night of passion with her.
    etc.

    Cheating. ???!!! not cool. Am I missing something? Is morality just a convenient part-time thing for you Christians? No disrespect to you Midori, but I find that this is the norm.

  11. Always single and dating

    Wow…that is an awesome list of types. i have dated many of them except for ms. right. But maybe I’m just picky…lol

    and I never mess with #10. I think that just leads to bad karma

  12. Happy pessimist

    Men,

    Don’t be confused. Just stick to one!

  13. Anonymous

    Haha.. this is a good post! Expecially suitable to put Mrs Right at the end of the queue, after going through all the various types. Kinda like a wake up call.

  14. Emma

    Minus the unnecessary God references, I thought this was an adorable article 😀 at first i was thinking ‘oh no, am I x/y/z type?’ but then it ended on such a lovely note.

  15. Anonymous

    Amazing how you managed to list so many types of women! haha.. very interesting read!

  16. Anonymous

    WOW! This is great! Ive learned sooo much about WOMAN!
    I think my wife belong to # 12. hehe
    Thanks

  17. How To Kiss Chris

    The gold digger is the worst, lol. She’ll make sure she has a “baby by you and be a millionaire”. lol

  18. saturn

    I have been with many women in my life and basically what I found out that is its almost impossible for females to get excited even if the most handsome & poor male strips in front of them..! but readily they do get excited or pretend to be excited if the most ugliest rich guy strips in front of them. which means 99.99999% fall in the gold digger segment, rest are good actors or lier and they know how to hide thier true interests in man.

    I did a research on this as to why a female should be more excited on unnatural sexiness of males such as power and money rather then the real biological sexiness of males? what I found is truly shocking !!
    the females are evolving since last few million years and they are evolving into hermaphroditic !!! in future the females are going to reproduce entirely on thier own without the help from males.. for this the nature is already preparing her for the future by moving her pleasure centre away from her enterance hence she is unable to enjoy the male – female straight sex as there is no stimulation to her pleasure center in penetrative sex.. so most females insist on oral sex by males to enjoy sex.
    her pleasure center is moving away and in to her body towards birth canal so that the act of giving birth will slowly turn into the most sexually pleasurable thing for her and the life continues due to this reward by nature in future.
    the biggest game player in life is always the nature everything we find attractive may not be attractive actually not the nature has programmed us to find them as attractive like females hips to waist ratio which is linked to her fertility, man having bigger testies which is linked to more sperms, man having longer male organ which is linked to tranporting sperms closer to egg.. hence, even the present females not finding males sexy in biological terms is also a game played by nature!!
    only the gold digger can be stated as the most honest as they express openely about what they are actually interested in males, rest are hypocrites.

  19. Scratch

    @ Saturn,

    I see nothing wrong with the tendency of women to be attracted to men who have money and power. It makes perfect biological sense – money and power are indicators of “better genes”. At a higher level – many of us would like a more fabulous lifestyle.

    On the other hand, I find that it is far from being a universal law. In my experience, women settle down with the man that “fits their bill”, whatever that may mean to the individual woman – and money and power are not always what women value most. She may find the boss attractive in some way – but still think he is an ignorant donkey.

    A few women are gold-diggers, but only a minority. And frankly, I don’t miss them. The ones who are, don’t end up happy, as they are treated with open contempt by the shallow, insecure, arrogant, emotionally immature men who purchase them.

  20. fred

    definitively something i d like to read more often and see on taoerwang.com. Good and witty – article. will recommend.

  21. dating for singles

    Very energetic article, I loved that bit. Will there be a part 2?

  22. Joanne Cohrs

    Good post, i hope this gets continued later

  23. Nik

    So, about type #12….. assuming she is not your wife since the last statement says you let her go…. How is that she, “Believes in God and all his virtues”, yet. ” You can have a bad argument with her and have the BEST Mind Numbing and passionate love making fest ever”…….Im confused, thought sex was reserved for MARRIAGE?

    • MidoriLei

      Nik,

      Good point! I think maybe the list is in future tense… that that’s what you “could have had”– a woman who believes in God and his virtues and also someone you can fight with and have amazing sex with (future tense) but since you’re too busy fooling around with numbers 1-11, you never will find Mrs. Right, number 12.

  24. Jerome

    Very very sad, my ex was a psycho but also number 12. I so suck and am still kicking myself.
    Seems like combinations/overlaps are possible. I think thats why couples need space and reflection time away from their partners. I’ve seen the topic of taking time away from the relationship as healthy …popping up in different media. Damn you hindsight!!

    • MidoriLei

      Jerome:)

      Don’t beat yourself up about it. Why do you suck? You don’t really want to be with a psycho right? Combinations/overlaps are definitely possible as women are quite complex beings. lol What are they saying in the media, that “let’s take a break” is healthy?

      I’ve never “taken a break” so I’m not sure how that goes down. It’s either I’m with the guy or we separate. Otherwise it feels like unfinished business, like you don’t have motivation to pursue another relationship and give it your all, but you also are afraid to go back. It sounds like relationship “limbo,” which sounds like torture! What do you think? I also am weary about “taking a break” just because so many couples who do this do it often enough where it becomes sort of a trend/habit in their relationship. “On again, off again” couples seem to never learn conflict resolution because they end up always separating when conflict arises. I don’t think this is healthy. I’m more of a fan of sticking it through, never even spending a night apart when someone’s angry, never even sleeping in separate bedrooms or someone on the couch when a conflict arises…. but that’s just been my experience and it has worked well, but I’d love to know more about these media findings:)

  25. Noah

    So let me get this straight;
    Ms. Good Girl is bad because: “You’re not gonna get any until ya’ll are married”
    But Mrs. Right is good because: “She believes in God and follows his virtues”
    yet another trait is: “the BEST Mind Numbing and passionate love making fest ever” and: “She can please her man in anyway. Mentally, Spiritually, and Sexually”. It’s clear that you mean before marriage “…she’s also intelligent enough to leave.”- Your words, not mine.

    It makes me sad when I think about all the people that call themselves Christians, yet think JUST LIKE THIS. This is hypocrisy.

    Look, people make mistakes. If a couple really “believes in God and follows his virtues” true, they might stumble in lust. But they should exercise honest effort. No sex until marriage certainly IS an attainable goal.

    “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23

    And if you do mess up, this does not give you license to continue in sin.
    When Jesus began his ministry the very first thing he is quoted as saying is “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand” Matthew 4:17
    and Paul reminds us “..let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.” 2 Corinthians 7:1

    Jesus also said: “Not everyone who says to Me ‘Lord Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.”(1) … “And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!'”(2); (1)Matthew 7:21 (2)Matthew 7:23

    A Christian lifestyle is one of humility and repentance, not just a “belief in God”. If I may offer a kind word of correction, sister;
    Jesus said: “Whoever therefore breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:19

    The good news is that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, Himself being God in the flesh, was born of a virgin (because His mom didn’t have sex before marriage) and He lived a sinless life (never married, did not have sex). Jesus died a gruesome death, lay dead in the grave for 3 days and rose again, overcoming death. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23

    Jesus Christ suffered and died in our place, so that we don’t have to be separated from God in a place called Hell. We’re no longer under strict laws. Those of us who believe are set free. Paul also wrote “that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9
    We choose to obey God because we love Him and recognize that He loves us.

    All one has to do is pray from the heart. Any time, any place. Silently or out loud. Just tell God in your own words that you’re a sinner, and ask for his forgiveness, and pray it in the name of Jesus.

    Jesus Loves you! Now live your life loving Him back.

    • MidoriLei

      Hi Noah,

      You make some great points. I just realized I didn’t mention in that very old post that the content is not mine. I found it on myspace as an anonymous forum post. I went ahead and made a note of that on the top of the article. I do believe in waiting until marriage for sex. I waited until marriage and didn’t have sex until I was almost 30 as a result, but it wasn’t without any struggle or temptation. I hope that clarifies things a bit. We are on the same page. I think the “Mrs. Right” has a few things that are not right until after marriage. And “Ms Good Girl” could definitely be “Mrs. Right.”

      Thank you for sharing this. I’m sure readers will appreciate it and also, I didn’t think about those things you mentioned until you brought them up.

  26. MarkoeLeo

    You forgot about Ms. Conceited

  27. Captain Anime

    MRS. RIGHT( Atheist Type ) for the Atheist Type
    a. She is not sexy, fine, or a dyme, but she is Beautiful and therefore encompasses all of these descriptions.
    b. She is intelligent, sassy, funny, outgoing, determined, strong and classy.
    c. She can cook or at least order a meal that is just like your mother’s.
    d. Her personality is just as beautiful as her body.
    e. She believes in Culture follows All virtues That Relate to Culture.
    f. She knows that a relationship requires a 200% quota yet she gives her man an extra 10%.As well you Can Equally
    g. She can please her man in anyway. Mentally, Emotionally, and Sexually.
    h. She makes you recognize your full potential as a man and completes you.
    i. She’s always there for you, no matter what your dreams are.
    j. She’s not afraid to tell you the truth and set you straight.
    k. You can talk to her and confide in her; she’s your best friend.
    l. You love being around her more than your boys.
    m. You can share your most intimate moments with her without sex.
    n. You can have a bad argument with her and have the BEST Mind Numbing and passionate love making fest ever.
    o. She’s always willing to find a way to work out your problems and will often take most of your *bleep*. But she’s also intelligent enough to leave.
    p. She’s nothing like any other girl you’ve met. She’s your Equal .

  28. Mojo Libido

    This is a great list! I’ve met women that match all of the types listed and then some. A few I dated. The worst thing about all of these types of women is that when you meet them, most start out the same way. Only a few of these types may show their true personalities and tendencies upfront.

    If you’re a man who’s not used to sensing the different types of women from an initial interaction, it might take some time before you see who these women really are. By then, it may be too late and you may be completely invested into someone you don’t want to be with or that doesn’t want to be with you.

    And that would truly suck.

  29. john

    I am kind of new to your blog, but the blog has some seriously nice stuff that I found very interesting as well as informative. Keep up the good work!

    Anime Caps
    Anime

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