12 Types Of Females
1. Ms. Gold-Digger
ADVANTAGES
a. You have some one to manage your money.
b. She always looks good.
c. She makes your friends jealous.
d. She makes you look good.
DISADVANTAGES
a. When you get broke she’ll be gone and take what you have left.
b. She makes sure she has a child by you to sue you for child support.
c. Once your rich friend comes up she’ll be on his arm the next day.
2. Ms. Freak (secret lover)
ADVANTAGES
a. She knows all the right positions.
b. She’ll try everything more than once.
c. You’re never unsatisfied.
d. She’ll do all the things your girl won’t do.
e. She doesn’t mind being your freak, as long as she catches one too.
DISADVANTAGES
a. Eventually, b/c she’s a female, she’ll end up catching feelings.
b. She starts to act like she’s your “main”.
c. She messes around with your friend and act like you are in the wrong for telling her that she’s a freak.
d. Eventually her stuff gets old. And you need a replacement.
3. Ms. Independent
ADVANTAGES
a. You don’t have to worry about buying her anything. She’s already got it.
b. She’s intelligent, sassy, confident and determined.
c. She’s great for (business) conversation.
d. She keeps it real and has goals.
e. She knows how to please a man.
DISADVANTAGES
a. She will continuously let you know that she can handle it on her own.
b. She will eventually say screw you and get a dildo.
c. She will consider you another one her play toys, or goals.
4. Ms. Dyme
ADVANTAGES
a. She’s top of the line.
b. She stays looking like a fantasy.
c. She has the body of a goddess with the face to match.
d. She considers herself a “model”
e. Gets turns you on whenever you see her.
f. All the girls envy her, but she doesn’t care.
DISADVANTAGES
a. She’s superficial. She cares only about her looks.
b. She honestly lacks confidence and will annoy you about the way she looks.
c. She’s probably dumb and if she’s not, her personality is dry.
d. You have to constantly keep your game up b/c every guy is gonna try to get her.
5. Ms. Tomboy
ADVANTAGES
a. She’s cool and laid back.
b. She’ll be willing to play rough with you.
c. Of course, she loves sports.
d. Her body is athletically divine.
e. She’s easy to talk to and fun to be around.
f. She’s a diamond in the rough.
DISADVANTAGES
a. She’ll remind you too much of your friends.
b. She might not want to change her appearance.
c. She might actually beat you in basketball, football and track.
6. Ms. Rebel
ADVANTAGES
a. She’s not afraid of any other female or male. She will fight to keep you.
b. She’s down for you. She’ll be there to bail you out of jail.
c. She strong and a true individual.
d. She can make the best out of a bad situation.
e. She keeps it real and keeps you satisfied.
DISADVANTAGES
a. She doesn’t know how to act in public.
b. Your mama can’t stand her.
c. You get into it with her every other second.
d. She’s willing to fight another girl looking at you or her PERIOD.
e. Her hair colors, tatoos, and or piercings are distracting and her vocabulary is minimal.
7. Ms. Good Girl
ADVANTAGES
a. She’s always there for you.
b. She’s intelligent, classy, kind, sweet and cool.
c. Your mother loves her.
d. You can see yourself falling in love with her.
e. You are her first everything.
f. She makes you feel like a man.
DISADVANTAGES
a. She’s an A or B situation either:
A. You’re not gonna get any until ya’ll are married or
B. She said she’s never done – she said she’s never tried – she’s sitting there telling a straight out lie.
8. Ms. Main
ADVANTAGES
a. She is the one you respect.
b. She probably may know about the others but might not care.
c. She has all the qualities you want in a female.
d. You’ve been with her forever.
DISADVANTAGES
a. She starts getting very suspicious and calls you every moment.
b. She will devise a plan to catch you in your act and then kick you out.
9. Ms. Psycho
ADVANTAGES
a. She’s fun and spontaneous.
b. She’s down to earth.
c. She loves you unconditionally.
d. Everything about her is too good to be true, so everyone loves her.
e. She makes you feel loved.
DISADVANTAGES
a. Don’t you break up with her. She will stalk you.
b. She keeps pictures of you everywhere and knows everything about you.
c. She can manipulate you.
d. She will consider herself wifey even if she may just be that chick on the side.
e. Messin’ with her can make your life a living hell.
10. Ms. I have a Man
ADVANTAGES
a. She may have a man but she’ll mess with you anyway.
b. She looks good.
c. You have an intense night of passion with her.
DISADVANTAGES
a. She’ll always come crying to you about the problems with her man.
b. She’ll get you caught up and then leave you anyway for her man.
c. If you piss her off she’ll get her man to come beat you up.
d. She’ll unofficially make you her man once she gets pissed off at her real man.
11. Ms. Tease
ADVANTAGES
a. She’s tempting and a nice piece of eye candy.
b. She’s intelligent, athletic, respectable and SEXXXXXXY.
c. She knows how to turn you on without touching you.
d. Everything she does is just so sensual.
e. She can bring you to that point and make you wait to get it.
f. Every time you see her you catch a mini orgasm.
g. Every guy wants her b/c she’s so mysterious and that makes you want to get her first.
DISADVANTAGES
a. NO matter what you think or do you never get it.
b. She probably has a long distance boyfriend somewhere that you will never know about.
c. She gets you hard and leaves you like that. (Unbearable)
12. MRS. RIGHT
ADVANTAGES
a. She is not sexy, fine, or a dyme, but she is Beautiful and therefore encompasses all of these descriptions.
b. She is intelligent, sassy, funny, outgoing, determined, strong and classy.
c. She can cook or at least order a meal that is just like your mother’s.
d. Her personality is just as beautiful as her body.
e. She believes in God and follows his virtues.
f. She knows that a relationship requires a 200% quota yet she gives her man an extra 10%.
g. She can please her man in anyway. Mentally, Spiritually, and Sexually.
h. She makes you recognize your full potential as a man and completes you.
i. She’s always there for you, no matter what your dreams are.
j. She’s not afraid to tell you the truth and set you straight.
k. You can talk to her and confide in her; she’s your best friend.
l. You love being around her more than your boys.
m. You can share your most intimate moments with her without sex.
n. You can have a bad argument with her and have the BEST Mind Numbing and passionate love making fest ever.
o. She’s always willing to find a way to work out your problems and will often take most of your *bleep*. But she’s also intelligent enough to leave.
p. She’s nothing like any other girl you’ve met. She’s your woman.
DISADVANTAGE
a. You’ve probably met her, or had her in your life but got too consumed with all the other types that you let her go
May 28th, 2007 at 11:25 am
perfect! except under gold-digger, you need to change the word manage to spend!!
March 15th, 2009 at 9:28 am
I never would have thought, about 12 types of women out there…..
August 31st, 2009 at 3:48 pm
This is perfect. All of these women are described perfectly. I think every man should read this, so he know’s what to look out for.
October 11th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
I LOVED reading this!!!
December 12th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Totally lame and sexist.
July 5th, 2010 at 5:44 am
just wot i hv been lookin for, thank u Lord
July 24th, 2010 at 4:36 pm
@ Bob: how is it sexist? You’re old-fashioned and anti-sex.
July 26th, 2010 at 6:43 am
From 12: “She believes in God and follows his virtues.”
So why are you so keen on cheating?
July 26th, 2010 at 2:57 pm
Scratch, ? I don’t understand your commment.
July 26th, 2010 at 6:30 pm
10. Ms. I have a Man
a. She may have a man but she’ll mess with you anyway.
c. You have an intense night of passion with her.
etc.
Cheating. ???!!! not cool. Am I missing something? Is morality just a convenient part-time thing for you Christians? No disrespect to you Midori, but I find that this is the norm.
August 23rd, 2010 at 1:26 pm
Wow…that is an awesome list of types. i have dated many of them except for ms. right. But maybe I’m just picky…lol
and I never mess with #10. I think that just leads to bad karma
October 14th, 2010 at 7:56 am
Men,
Don’t be confused. Just stick to one!
January 5th, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Haha.. this is a good post! Expecially suitable to put Mrs Right at the end of the queue, after going through all the various types. Kinda like a wake up call.
January 22nd, 2011 at 12:31 pm
Minus the unnecessary God references, I thought this was an adorable article
at first i was thinking ‘oh no, am I x/y/z type?’ but then it ended on such a lovely note.
February 2nd, 2011 at 10:03 am
Amazing how you managed to list so many types of women! haha.. very interesting read!
February 2nd, 2011 at 10:31 pm
WOW! This is great! Ive learned sooo much about WOMAN!
I think my wife belong to # 12. hehe
Thanks
July 28th, 2011 at 2:01 pm
The gold digger is the worst, lol. She’ll make sure she has a “baby by you and be a millionaire”. lol
August 21st, 2011 at 11:52 am
I have been with many women in my life and basically what I found out that is its almost impossible for females to get excited even if the most handsome & poor male strips in front of them..! but readily they do get excited or pretend to be excited if the most ugliest rich guy strips in front of them. which means 99.99999% fall in the gold digger segment, rest are good actors or lier and they know how to hide thier true interests in man.
I did a research on this as to why a female should be more excited on unnatural sexiness of males such as power and money rather then the real biological sexiness of males? what I found is truly shocking !!
the females are evolving since last few million years and they are evolving into hermaphroditic !!! in future the females are going to reproduce entirely on thier own without the help from males.. for this the nature is already preparing her for the future by moving her pleasure centre away from her enterance hence she is unable to enjoy the male – female straight sex as there is no stimulation to her pleasure center in penetrative sex.. so most females insist on oral sex by males to enjoy sex.
her pleasure center is moving away and in to her body towards birth canal so that the act of giving birth will slowly turn into the most sexually pleasurable thing for her and the life continues due to this reward by nature in future.
the biggest game player in life is always the nature everything we find attractive may not be attractive actually not the nature has programmed us to find them as attractive like females hips to waist ratio which is linked to her fertility, man having bigger testies which is linked to more sperms, man having longer male organ which is linked to tranporting sperms closer to egg.. hence, even the present females not finding males sexy in biological terms is also a game played by nature!!
only the gold digger can be stated as the most honest as they express openely about what they are actually interested in males, rest are hypocrites.
August 21st, 2011 at 7:44 pm
@ Saturn,
I see nothing wrong with the tendency of women to be attracted to men who have money and power. It makes perfect biological sense – money and power are indicators of “better genes”. At a higher level – many of us would like a more fabulous lifestyle.
On the other hand, I find that it is far from being a universal law. In my experience, women settle down with the man that “fits their bill”, whatever that may mean to the individual woman – and money and power are not always what women value most. She may find the boss attractive in some way – but still think he is an ignorant donkey.
A few women are gold-diggers, but only a minority. And frankly, I don’t miss them. The ones who are, don’t end up happy, as they are treated with open contempt by the shallow, insecure, arrogant, emotionally immature men who purchase them.
September 30th, 2011 at 4:02 am
definitively something i d like to read more often and see on taoerwang.com. Good and witty – article. will recommend.
December 20th, 2011 at 12:20 pm
Very energetic article, I loved that bit. Will there be a part 2?
December 20th, 2011 at 12:24 pm
Good post, i hope this gets continued later
April 30th, 2012 at 2:04 pm
So, about type #12….. assuming she is not your wife since the last statement says you let her go…. How is that she, “Believes in God and all his virtues”, yet. ” You can have a bad argument with her and have the BEST Mind Numbing and passionate love making fest ever”…….Im confused, thought sex was reserved for MARRIAGE?
April 30th, 2012 at 2:18 pm
Nik,
Good point! I think maybe the list is in future tense… that that’s what you “could have had”– a woman who believes in God and his virtues and also someone you can fight with and have amazing sex with (future tense) but since you’re too busy fooling around with numbers 1-11, you never will find Mrs. Right, number 12.