For Girls

10 Surprising Hubby Qualities that Make Marriage Laid Back/Easier Part 2

Here’s the rest of the list that started yesterday.

6. He cares more about being kind than being right.

    I think one of the things that makes Nate and my relationship pretty laid back is that neither of us is really stubborn. We definitely err on the side of being too tactful/courteous and sometimes I feel the need to pry a little to make sure there’s really nothing brewing under the surface. From the top of my head, I can remember at least one time where there was something bothering Nate that didn’t come up right away.

    I think if both partners are more concerned about being kind to the other person, this is going to be what creates that relaxed atmosphere in the relationship. I don’t know where I first heard this, about marriage being two people on the same “team,” but that advice has always stuck with me. Or as my friend Jacki so wonderfully put it,

    You are the only two members on this team and no one else will ever be invited, and no one else needs to understand the rules of this team as long as they work for the two of you. The way you communicate, spend time together, divide up housework, have sex, etc, etc, etc doesn’t need to be the way anyone else does it, as long as it works for YOUR TEAM. It’s the two of you against the world. And when conflict arises between me and my husband, I’m trying to keep that in mind, that my husband isn’t the enemy but my teammate instead, and my object isn’t to beat him but to help him WIN.

    It really doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong, what matters is that we place nice with our teammate!

7. He’s a hard worker.

    I think this makes our marriage laid back because we both love to work. I love spending the whole day blogging, writing, doing photo shoots, planning out new creative posts, and a lot of my time during the day is spent thinking about work. It’s enjoyable. Nate is the same way with his job. He works really hard and he gets to build things all day: things like the Federal Reserve in Washington, or the Bellevue Towers, and now he’s building the light rail and a bridge. Because we both love our jobs, we really do excuse each other if Nate has to work late or I have to work on my laptop while we relax on the couch at the end of the evening.

    We try to prioritize each other, don’t get me wrong, but we give each other that freedom to think about work and talk about work on our free time or stay at work longer.

8. He’s generous.

    You know those girls who go after guys with money, what are they called? Gold diggers? lol. I wish I could tell these women, “Don’t look for a guy with money! Look for a guy who is generous!” Nate is so generous: with his time, his resources, his money. Everything. Generosity translates to a guy without a selfish bone in his body. He always buys quality for himself and for others, and he is always looking for ways to help people.

    When his twin sister went on vacation a couple of weeks ago, he noticed she didn’t have her rear tailgate because there were some parts missing. So what did he do? He ordered all the parts and installed everything as a surprise for when she got back. On the drive to the airport, all of their luggage had to be crammed in the front, and to their surprise, with the tailgate back on when they got picked up, they were able to put their luggage in the back and have plenty of room to sit comfortably in the front.

    He is always willing to take the tab, inconvenience himself to make something more convenient for someone else. Being around him makes me want to be a better person.

9. He’s Mr Ready for the Worst Case Scenario

    Whether it’s going on a day hike, a backpacking trip, or just a bike ride at a nearby trail, he has every possible safety device ready. What if we get a flat tire on our bikes? He has a miniature pump in his sack. What if we find someone stuck in a ditch during the big snow storm? He has the biggest winch to pull them out.

    Do you know what this does for me? It gives me peace of mind. I’m the girl who always forgets to get napkins at a restaurant. I need a guy like this. Maybe you’re the same way? I’m also the biggest worrier in the world. And just having Nate by my side melts away my anxieties of what could possibly happen, because I know he will know what to do. Does he know CPR? Check. Fire in the back yard from too much peanut oil for frying the turkey? Let’s just say, it’s nice to be married to a former firefighter/EMT!

10. He’s strong where I am weak.

    Okay so now I’m going to be super sentimental. You know why I believe in soul mates? Because I don’t think there’s another person on this planet who is more well suited for me.

    There’s a reason why me, the girl who never finishes anything ended up with the guy who never quits and always sees projects through completion.

    There’s a reason why me, the girl who always worries and stresses and thinks of the worst case scenario ended up with the guy who never stresses and only deals with the things he can control, letting everything else just be.

    There’s a reason why me, the girl who hates math but loves words ended up with the guy who loves math and doesn’t care for words.

    There’s a reason why me, the girl who is vain and pretty self absorbed ended up with the guy who thinks of everyone first.

    and there’s a reason why me, the girl who is afraid of everything ended up with the most fearless man she’s ever met.

    And I can go on and on and on. (I’ve actually written a list- it’s pages long, of all the things that make us complete opposites)

    Sounds like Nate’s getting the shorter end of the stick in this deal! LOl. I bring stuff to the table, like the fact that I am very very verbal and communicate everything, and I’m never shy about expressing my needs, whereas Nate has a harder time saying he needs anything. (haha I bet most guys can relate)

    But for the most part, I do think I got the better deal:)

So there it is ladies! Are there any traits of what you’re looking for in a husband that you want to add? I’d love to know! Have a great weekend everyone!

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I love thinking about the intricacies of dating, love and life. I share my tiny lessons in the hope that it helps you as you navigate the dating world.

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