10 Qualities Women Want In Men - Based On “The Notebook”
Ah, “The Notebook.” (Sigh.) Watched it last night. I don’t watch movies more than once, with very few exceptions. This is one of those exceptions; I’ve watched this movie 3 or 4 times now.
Many would argue that this movie is by far the best love story captured on film. What sets this movie apart from other love stories on film?
Noah and Allie’s love passes the test of endurance.
Unlike a typical romantic comedy or love story, we see beyond the “kiss”; we see what happens after happily ever after. As women, we want to believe that a man will find himself at home in our presence, that he truly means ’till death do us part.’ Even as Noah progressively loses Allie through Alzheimer’s, he states, “My sweetheart lives here. This is my home. She is my home.”
Noah is the prototype of what women desire in a man.
I wish men would take notes while watching this movie. There is so much to be learned from Noah’s character. Every woman I know who has seen this movie notes that Noah at first seems rather plain in physical appearance but by the end of the movie, he’s like a Greek god!
Seriously, you just fall in love with how he loves Allie. So guys, take some notes.
Women love…
1.) Men who are willing to makes fools of themselves to show how much they want to be with you. Ah, the power of the public grand gesture. It reminds us just how brave and courageous you are, willing to take risks and possible/likely rejection. (Think of the Ferris wheel scene when Noah jumps on to introduce himself to Allie and ask for a date.)
2.) Men who are persistent. Unless she is completely turned off by the sight of you from the initial meeting, she will warm up to your persistence. You can tell if an initial “no” really means “keep trying” if she is unable to hide some form of a smile or smirk. It shows us that you are not easily discouraged, that you are willing to work hard for what you want, that you are ambitious, and most importantly, that you really want us.
3.) Men who only have eyes for one woman. I know guys usually face rejection and move on to the next girl with ease, and a lot of guys can like several girls simultaneously. Girls don’t want to believe this, hence the appeal of Noah, who only has eyes for Allie. I guess the least you can do is make us feel like we are it. Don’t flaunt your other pursuits. Think the opposite of the message in the song Mambo # 9. It shows us that you are loyal, and that you see something in us that is different from all the other girls.
4.) Men who keep their promises regardless of circumstances. Noah said he would build the house with the blue shutters, the wrap around porch, and the painting room. He delivered. It shows us that you have integrity….which brings me to the next…
5.) Men who do the loving thing even when it hurts. Noah wrote Allie for a year without a response. Bravo. ’nuff said. This shows us that your hopes aren’t easily shattered, and even after it all, you are not bitter. Look at Noah’s last letter. Day 365:
My Dearest Allie, I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you. Noah
6.) Men who esteem themselves not because of worldly accomplishments but in the accomplishment of loving another deeply.
At the beginning of the movie, Noah says:
I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.
This shows us that loving others is your greatest priority. That kind of man is hard to find!
7.) Men who really listen. I mean, you can tell he really listened because he remembered her wishes. When she said what she wanted, he looked at her intently, as if he were making a note in his mind. Like Rick Warren says in The Purpose-driven Life, what we really want from people we love is “focused attention.” We want to look into your eyes, and see that all of you is really there, and there is no other place you would rather be. This shows us that we are up there on your mental priority list and that you value our thoughts.
8.) Men who would tell the truth, risk hurting our feelings, and fight with us rather than withdraw and brush issues under the rug to preserve peace. Like this scene:
Noah: Well, that’s what we do: we fight. You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a b**ch, and I tell you when you are a pain in the a**, which you are 99 percent of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2-second rebound rate, then you’re back doing the next pain-in-the-a** thing.
Allie: So what?
Noah: So it’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.
It shows us that you care enough about saving the authenticity of the relationship to speak out. It shows that you are not indifferent. It shows that you are a man and not a doormat.
9.) Men who are realists. They believe that it will take work and that it will be hard. Love is work; it isn’t leisure. They don’t buy into an easy, pain-free “happily ever after.” It shows us that you are in it with earthly expectations and that you are not just in love with the high of being in love. It shows us that you are willing to work at love and that hard times will not make you hardened. And lastly…
10.) Men who want us till death do us part. Forever isn’t scary; commitment isn’t scary. We want to believe that it is natural to want forever, to want commitment because it’s with us. A couple of years ago, I asked a guy I dated what was the number one quality he wanted in a girl. He replied, “forever.” (Sigh.) I guess “forever” is a universal wish of those who truly seek love.
August 5th, 2007 at 8:58 am
I thought this was an interesting article. Ironically, I wrote an article less than 6 hours ago that is identical, except that it’s the opposite. It’s what men want from women. You can check it out here:
http://www.zerogspacecow.com/articles/love.html
January 16th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
[...] But in all this wisdom naturally acquired, what about my newly discovered drunken English skills? Well, yesterday was midterms for me and I’m sorry to say but I failed. I did pretty well in pronunciation I think. No spit, no mumbling, not too many blanks looking for words. But the problem is this: I was so focused on it that I forgot the other half of the evaluation, content. I doubt that anyone has been impressed to know about killdeers, the Mono Lake or even how having Rock Band should be in the top 10 qualities for a guy. [...]
January 16th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
[...] But in all this wisdom naturally acquired, what about my newly discovered drunken English skills? Well, yesterday was midterms for me and I’m sorry to say but I failed. I did pretty well in pronunciation I think. No spit, no mumbling, not too many blanks looking for words. But the problem is this: I was so focused on it that I forgot the other half of the evaluation, content. I doubt that anyone has been impressed to know about killdeers, the Mono Lake or even how having Rock Band should be in the top 10 qualities for a guy. [...]
March 21st, 2009 at 1:59 am
“The Notebook” is a movie out of Hollywood where life is sometimes portrayed how it should be. Given, that, over 65% of the population is/or in need of therapy sessions, the average man cannot afford to be constantly arguing and making up. Most likely, he grew up hearing his parents complain/argue at each other(this is why he sits in therapy sessions) and the last thing he wants to do is come home and argue with the woman he is in love with. Men are strong physically, but a woman can be super strong on the inside.
Hurt your feelings? Are you sure you want a man/husband that hurts your feelings?..That may be fun for a little while…
March 22nd, 2009 at 10:48 pm
There is a “notebook” type of man out there, it is just that, I think, in a much smaller pool of single men.
August 21st, 2009 at 8:20 am
It’s a freaking movie people. Get out of your fantasy world and welcome yourselves back to reality. If you want that kind of love, become an actor/actress because you’re not going to find it in the real world. It’s scripted.
August 21st, 2009 at 8:39 am
Paul… I did find that kind of love. It may be scripted but someone wrote that script, someone who had to find inspiration somewhere from reality. Love isn’t perfect but neither were those two characters. They skipped their entire life together, all the hardships, but just the fact that they endured to the end is an inspiration.
September 24th, 2009 at 12:37 am
What is your name ? I would like to use your information for an english paper I am writing but I need your name if I want to quote you.
September 24th, 2009 at 8:16 am
Hi Nichole, my full name is Midori Barizo. Good luck on your English paper!
September 24th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
midori,
my name is seamore i’m 26, I know kind of a strange name. Well I watch the notebook and usually just poop in my micorowave meals the ones that come with dessert are my favorite ; ) and so I watch the note book at least two times a week in my prefab home off of eightynine a, you know right by the honey mans health just like take a left and stay on that road..i watch the notebook usually twice a week. So is that quote reasonable to use on someone you like. So theirs this girl who I watch come out of Sears at five once the sun is just starting to set and I think I will recite a quote from the movie when she is done with work, which one do you suggest using? Cause i usually watch the notebook twice a week.
not to say that i’m ugly or anything but I tip the scales at like 279 but lukily i’m tall at around 5′7 and i let nature take its course I mean if i’m destined to have love handles dont you think i should embrace it and just enjoy ? My hobbies are eating beleive it or not and i’ve got good thumbs, thumb wars are my specialty, also I watch the notebook twice a week. I have always been interested in belly dancing.
your number ten speaks to me
well my ma just got home makin some meat log which has like.. 6 different meats in one. wish you could try it
sincerely,
seamore
September 24th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Hey its me again i just finished eating.
write me back
September 24th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Hey are you there?
September 24th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
ok thanks.
September 24th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
nicole !
September 24th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
seamore… you wrote “poop in my micorowave meals!” hmmm, maybe you meant “pop?” sorry, that just made me laugh so hard! but what was your question???
September 24th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
oh right, it’s not that funny midori i feel like an moron
September 24th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
How come girls dont like me just because i am who i am.
they say a fannie pack is gay and call me names like dumbo and frankfurter( which by the way is the most hurtful)
September 24th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
jerry the subway guys my hero i actually met him
September 24th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
hello its me seamore again
you there
i cant stop sweating out of my pits ! hah
do you think a girl would ever find that attractive , kind of cause i mean its a manly quality plus i have a mole located inside my eye lid on the left eye.
maybe there is someone who will like it you think?
and i watch notebook usually twice a week.
October 25th, 2009 at 12:37 am
O_o yes i’m giving you the eye…again. This article was actually good
I am fully willing to give my all for a girl, even if it means hurting my pride. You hit on good points.
October 26th, 2009 at 8:29 am
Thanks uhhh:) That’s aweseome that you’re willing to hurt your pride for a girl. That’s also very RARE.
December 5th, 2009 at 6:16 am
I commend the valuable information you provide in your entries. I�ll bookmark your site and have my friends check up here often. I am really certain they will learn lots of new stuff in your site than anywhere else!
December 8th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Thats funny. Women want men to be realists but they herself don’t want to be- believing that romantic love lasts forever. Nothing lasts forever.
December 9th, 2009 at 1:01 am
why can’t romantic love last forever? I think it can if both parties work at it.
December 9th, 2009 at 6:35 am
Nice movie, but i don’t think it’s applicable anymore cause we’re in 2010!
December 9th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Thank you for another amazing article. Where else would anybody get that kind of info in such a easy to understand way of presentation.
January 5th, 2010 at 12:40 pm
I agree with MidoriLei. Romantic love can last forever. After all, eternity has been placed in our hearts. I think that you can put this advice in these simple few words, “love her more than yourself”. This was a fantastic entry with advice that can lead a man to a succesful relationship.
Please continue with these entries MidoriLei,
Thomas
January 9th, 2010 at 4:34 pm
hi Thomas, glad to see some optimistic men out there! that is great advice so much harder done than said. I’ll keep trying to write stuff like this.