It’s easy to get tongue tied while trying to compliment the woman you like. What’s not so easy is to know that you might have insulted her with your sideways words. It reminds me of Bridget Jones’ Diary. She compared a backhanded compliment to a jellyfish. It looked cute and innocent at the beginning, but stung at the end. Let me help you out fellas, here are 3 compliments never to give the woman you like.
1. You’re cute
While on the surface this seems wonderful (and for some women it may be perfectly fine) I have always felt like I’m being compared to a dog when a man calls me cute. It sound like something you say about a puppy or a kid sister. Not something you say to the woman you are dating. If I’m dating a man, I don’t want him to think of me as cute…in his eyes I want to be gorgeous, beautiful, sexy. NOT adorable puppy or kid sister ‘cute’.
2. You look good for…(fill in the blank)
Whatever you are trying to say, you have lost any hope of putting a positive spin on it. If you are qualifying a compliment with anything then it is not a compliment. Just give the compliment with out the beginning part…You look good for a smoker…shorten it to you look good. No need to throw the negative in there.
3. You look like (fill in a hot famous person)…except not as pretty.
Yes, someone really said that to me. While I balk at the rudeness, I also realize he was trying to avoid inflating my ego. Here’s a tip, if you like the girl and her personality, don’t be afraid to give her a big head! I know that I want my guy to think I’m hot; let her know that she is
4. You sure are getting round/thick.
Yes, again, someone else said this to me, as an intended compliment. I had not idea how to respond. I just picked my jaw up off the floor and politely (half crazed yelling is polite, right?) told him that calling a woman round is not a compliment to everyone.
For that matter, make anything weight related off-limits. While some guys like their women thick (or thin) not all women are comfortable with weight gain or loss. Unless you know she has been working toward a goal, then avoid the topic all together. Guys, your safest bet will always be Switzerland on this one.
5. You’re smile is cute because it is crooked.
At first, I thought this was sweet, but then I was checking my smile in the mirror on the drive home to see if it really was crooked. I had never noticed if it was. And, though the man meant it as something sweet and endearing, it ended up with me having to fight off a stupid insecurity that I don’t really have.
While some of these may have been very specific examples, I think we all get the point. Nothing negative, even if it is endearing should be in a compliment. A compliment is to build the receiver up, not make them question themselves, right?
What about you? What are some horrible compliments you’ve received, heard or even given??